Cha cha cha changes

The purpose of blogging is to inform, to share, to diary the events of one’s life on whatever path you’re on.  I chose a psuedynom because I wanted the freedom of anonymity yet I also shared pictures from my real life that could identify where I was or who I was.  And I even shared a pic of hubby (from a distance) but if you’ve ever seen him, you’d know who it was.  He’d be pissed at me I’m sure (if he knew). He’s way more private than I am.   So much for anonymity.  Well, I am an actress so being shy isn’t one of my traits.  Lucky for me, I don’t do a lot of things that would land me in trouble morally speaking.  Except for blabbing too much.  Yeah, there’s that.  A couple of you have figured out exactly who I am (and a couple of you lurkers already knew) and the peeps I hang with, but because I am now about to involve someone else in my life, it’s been pointed out to me that I should be more discreet.  Luckily, I don’t have a huge readership and that’s fine by me.  I didn’t blog because I wanted to entertain and be popular.  Sadly, my life isn’t that interesting and my days of craving fame are over. 

Which brings me to the primary reason for switching blog servers.  I’d like to continue to log my journey through the tumbleweeds of infertility to parenthood as a letter to myself and to my child to be.  This is more than just my story.  I am also a writer, not a great one, not the kind who writes books or anything, but as a creative individual trying to keep her grip on her sanity.  Cheaper than talk therapy and I can do it in my pyjamas.  In this world, where we are all busy trying to keep our heads above water, to be heard and understood is life a rope thrown to a drowning woman.  So I write and I share the stuff that matters to me.  If I am going to write about that I can’t give a flying fig what someone else might think about it.  It doesn’t have to be your truth, but it does have to be mine. 

The one huge objection I’ve had about adoption is that it’s not a private matter anymore.  It’s a triad relationship.  Adoptive parents, birthparents and the child.  Now when I started this whole trying to have a baby thing, I didn’t think that was anybody’s business but mine and my husband’s.  WRONG!  Eventually, it became a whole team of people’s business.  Not that it helped us.  As much as I’d love to have a whole do-over of the whole mess, I can’t.  That’s life.  My life went a direction that I had never dreamed of, and yes, if I get started on it, I still have a whole lot more to say on the subject.  But that would be repeating myself.  Which my husband likes to tell me how much that drives him crazy.  That’s too bad.  I’m of West Indian descent and our people repeat themselves.  Anyway, adoption is supposed to cure childlessness.  So that’s the path we’re on.  It’s taken a whole lot longer than I had imagined, but once again, that’s life.  Good news, is that is shouldn’t last much longer.  It pays to hang in there five more minutes. 

We found a birthmother/expectant mother and I’d like that to have the happy ending that I’ve been seeking for so long.  I can’t control what happens between now and then though.  I’ve never been down this path before, though there are many who have.  Sound familiar?  So anything particularly private that I feel like sharing, I’ll just password protect that post and each of you will have to ask me for the password, okay?  If you’re a lurker and you really, really want to know, then you got to fess up or call me.  🙂


21 thoughts on “Cha cha cha changes

  1. Oh please let me be the first one to comment on your new blog! I never got around to giving you my advice on your post this morning, but you’ve done exactly as I would have advised anyway, so I can now feel smug for no good reason other than knowing that somehow my powerful persuasive thoughts reached you through the ether!

    So thrilled you are finding a way to keep writing your way through this journey. Although you know I’d stalk you anyway if you quit!

  2. Yay! Welcome to WordPress. Let me know if you need any information on navigating around. What a wonderful new beginning to your new beginning story.

  3. I know I don’t comment all that often, but I do love to read your posts. I’ve bookmarked you so I don’t lose your blog. I had to go private too, completely different reasons, but it was a relief to be able to say what I needed to say.

  4. I am a long time lurker. I found your blog through a blog through a blog and I have been here for about a year. I hope this is if for you and I wish happiness.

    If you go password protect you know who I am now.
    PS Fess up time I have met Teendoc in real life she is friends with my real like friend Cecily at Uppercase Woman.

    I like to read stories of families no matter how created.

  5. welcome to wordpress! I really like it here. I’ve been considering protecting some posts too, if I ever have the time to write again…

    so happy for your new possibilities. xo.

  6. Well hello there! I love the new digs and can I just say one time that I will always want to read your posts and will need the password? Is there a VIP list of readers by chance? Assuming of course I would be so honored to be on it…how bold am I??!! I am so excited for you and can’t wait to see how this journey unfolds.

  7. your new digs look great! i chose wordpress for the privacy option too, although i have yet to use it. looking forward to following your reflections over here.

  8. I have been reading Lurking on)your blog every day since day one and I always look forward to new posts.
    Please allow me to continue reading about your journey to motherhood.Love the new site.


  9. Oh good grief. I clicked on your name on the comment you left, thinking that you just had not gotten around to posting…and here I arrive and see boat loads of posts. For some reason, my little notifier didn’t tell me!

    Off to get caught up 🙂

  10. Now that I can read the full story I’ve started at the beginning.
    Just commenting to say that I love how you’ve explained why you blog, about it being cheaper than talk therapy, etc.
    I’m saving that to put in my journal to remind me why writing is so important, even for those of us who are not “real writers” or trying to publish a book or anything.

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