This is what passes as relaxing

I had probably one of the most relaxing weekends I’ve had in ages.  We took mum out on Friday for her 74th birthday to a restaurant called The Reef. They serve West Indian food.  It’s a tradition for us.  Of course, I forgot the camera, but we all looked pretty much the same last year. We all had curried goat, hubby’s in a roti.  I had a delicious ginger beer mojito and they both had Carib beer.  They even brought mum a fried banana with ice cream for dessert.  She did pretty good but at one point when I was tucking a napkin on her, she got annoyed and said “Fuck you!”.  Well, mum is getting crankier lately, so it was not completely unexpected.  She hates it when I fuss over her.  Times have certainly changed and she’s experiencing a decline right now.  She kept trying to pour her beer on the plate as if she had forgotten she was supposed to bring it to her lips to drink it.  Well, she had.  I had to keep redirecting her.   She also gets annoyed when you talk to somebody other than her and hubby and  I were trying to catch up on our week with the teenagers.  I don’t blame her really, but she can’t really converse coherently either.  Then she just wanted to go back to the home so we took her back.  I found a vase and arranged some flowers I had bought for her.  Then I had to go through the tedious process of trying to get off the locked floor.  There were only 2 care aides on the floor and they were busy with 2 residents, no nurse was on the floor.  I waited and waited, walking mum up and down the corridor but finally I called the nurse’s cell phone and she sent someone up to open the elevator.  I have been asking for my own key as every time I leave there I have to pull someone away from their duties to get the elevator for me.

Anyways, I guess you’re asking how was that relaxing? I’ve found a rhythm with my mother now – she’s more detached – I’m less emotional about her state.  I’ve gone from insomnia  and constant stress to taking days off from constantly monitoring her.  It would be nice if my sister were here to help take care of her, but frankly, I would end up taking care of her, her family AND my mum and hubby would be constantly bitching about me doing it, so I’ll take the status quo.

Saturday, I slept in.  I was up hacking in the wee hours and by the time I took Nyquil it was almost dawn.  I could have slept til noon.  I did have an appointment for a pedicure to look forward to.  I’d gone jogging with Juno a few days before and the following morning woke up to a throbbing heel – it was cracked.  Ewwww.  I  have profoundly dry heels and wearing flip flops dries them out even further.   Of course, I got someone who didn’t know what to do about it, but at least my feet look a bit better.  Then I did nothing the rest of the day.  That never happens to me.  Almost never.  When things were going too good, Juno decided to eat a wasp that had flown in.  Her lip started to swell and then she lay down, I started to get worried.  I wanted to take her to the  animal ER right away, but hubby, in his usual cool, calm, collected self, told me to calm down (NEVER EVER TELL ME TO CALM DOWN) and went to Dr. Google for answers.  Why does he think just I cause show concern that I’m hysterical?!!!!  I called the expensive clinic (it was after hours) and they said I should bring her to emerg and then I called emerg and they said put a cold compress on her and watch for signs of distress as per Dr. Google’s advice.    20 minutes later and half a dozen ice cubes in her, she was fine and ready to tear the place up again.  We kept looking for the stinger but she decided that she’d rather try to bite my fingers instead.  Hah, you missed dog!  We even went out for a stroll on the seawall.  Whew!  Yeah, you know what I was thinking – don’t you fucking die on me dog.  I’ve got an adoption to pay for!!!!

Sunday brought me a pulled back muscle as I was trying to vaccum and lift the laundry basket at the same time.  Oi vey, I’m getting old.  When will I ever learn, do not twist and lift! Gotta get back to the gym.   But I went for a lovely dog walk with some Buddhist pals and enjoyed the incredible weather!  This is truly a beautiful city when the sun shines. I spent the evening with my pals, Robaxicet and Thermacare and episodes of True Blood.

So all in all, a very relaxing weekend.

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3 thoughts on “This is what passes as relaxing

  1. Ouch, poor Juno! A while back Lucky got stung by a wasp somewhere on his snout (I’m guessing, since he had been out in the yard and I didn’t see it happen, but his face got fairly swollen.) By the next day his face looked ok, but then he broke out in hives all over his body. Even though he seemed ok, I called the vet, they checked his last recorded weight, and told me I could give him one regular strength Benad.ryl, which I did. 20 minutes later the hives were completely gone and he was absolutely fine. Very helpful to know that it is safe to give them something like that – if it happens again, you could look into that.

    Glad you had a good birthday celebration with your mom. You inspire me so much in how you’ve reached a state of real equanimity with her – able to access that compassion for her without getting all tied up in knots over it. It helps me so much in dealing with my MIL, so thank you for sharing that part of your story. She’s not quite at the stage your mom is at, but in all likelihood, we’ll get there all too soon.

    Hope there are more relaxing, beautiful sunny days for you this week. I am thinking of you often these days, dear one.

  2. I am SO addicted to True Blood.

    I have to laugh — only because Juno, Lucky and Lucy should get together — Lucy, wIhen we first brought her home, she was six months or so — and got stung over the eye — which swelled immediately — and I high-tailed it to the very expensive emergency vet!!! Now she’s a regular on Benadryl — with her allergies…but at the time I had no idea…and I am a hoverer — I can’t help it –one of the phrases my family gets tired of: where’s the dog — has anyone seen the dog…

    I have to echo the lovely Annacyclopedia who said it all before me — I have learned so much from your honest writing about your relationship with your mother. I am so grateful for your friendship — albeit through words and cyberspace — I reflect often on how your encouraging words — at exactly the right time — helped me get to where I am now.

    So if I don’t thank you enough — please know that there is so much warmth and love and gratitude swirling around you — and it’s come from down south…

    XO

    Love,

    Pam

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