Archive | September 2009

Appreciation

DH is finally back home – well, I did see him last week so we weren’t apart too long.  Of course, as soon as I got back, I realized all the things I didn’t have time to do were still waiting to be done!  I need a pair of glasses, contacts (I went to Costco in August and got fitted a sample pair and STILL HAVEN’T GONE BACK), my eyebrows are a mess and my snatch still needs to be snitched.  I’ve got immigration papers somewhere around here that need filling out.  My feet lost the war between my flip flops and the New York streets.  But the memory of having dinner in a backyard patio and the lights dimming for the start of a Broadway play still carry me…..

When DH goes away for an extended period, I never really mind that much.  It’s like a vacation for me in a way.  Yes, I miss him, but I also get to enjoy peace and quiet, I don’t cook (I subsist on soup and popcorn) and I walk the dog a lot in woodsy trails and catch up with friends. It’s like being single without actually being single.  The remote control is all mine and I don’t have to hear the noise of UFC and Shark Attack in the background.  I don’t have anyone asking if I have done this or taken care of that 5 minutes before I get around to doing it.  I don’t shave my legs as often and I can fart without acknowledging it. I suspect he feels somewhat the same when I’m away.  Nobody nagging him for drinking right out of the milk carton, and to take the garbage out and close the door when he’s in the bathroom.

Couple weeks ago, he told me he had a dream where I had left him.  It’s rare that he even remembers his dreams, rarer still that he gets upset by them.  Of course, in my snarky way, I told him I just might yet.  Not nice of me.  I rarely think of him as someone who needs reassurance. Me, of course, that’s another matter.  After all, I tend to carry my hurts with me for years.  But him?  His ego never seems to be in disrepair.   I do admit that infertility, depression, weight gain and my erstwhile career (as I watch other friends on American TV) has managed to effectively curtail my confidence.  I do have some control over some of  those issues.  I rarely think of DH as needing any reassurance.  I should know better after all these years with him.

I forget that he needs me to acknowledge him, reassure him that I still love him, still want to be with him.  That all his efforts to deliver a child into our lives have been appreciated.  Perhaps he was thinking that  he wasn’t enough.  I can certainly understand that.

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NYC with pics

Night shot of Times Square

Night shot of Times Square

Times Square

Finally, some pics – note to self, never forget your camera! Times Square of course. Okay, they’re not the world’s best pics but it’s all I got, folks.

Central park

Lotus flowers – right in Central Park

lake in Central Park

lake in Central Park

You can row, row, row your boat or you can chill out here.

Dianna Ross playground

Dianna Ross playground

Then we got on the subway and went downtown.

World Trade Centre site

You can view the WTC site from the building directly across the street.  I knelt and chanted daimoku.  Tears filled my eyes when I recalled the day the towers came down.  Hubby had come home from the gym and woke me up.  I turned on the TV and cried out in horror.  I didn’t know anyone who died there that day, but I did have a friend who did. 6 degrees of separation and all that.  My fellow Buddhists perished there.  After we grabbed some food, we head uptown to the Museum of Modern Art – hubby grumbled a bit, he really wanted to see dinosaurs, but really, he needs more art, he doesn’t know it yet.

Of course, we didn’t have much time, but we did 3 floors.  A lot of it had him incredulous – this was art!  A blank white canvas…. mmm… I made him pose beside that one.  Then of course, I posed beside the all black canvas.  There was also this:

hanging penis and balls

This brilliant sculpture was done by a female artist who was paying homage to her husband  and sons.  Okay, whatever.  It’s a dick and balls if you haven’t figured it out.  Not attractive.

We also saw some amazing photographs by Richard Avedon and others, but I didn’t take pics of the pics.  Here’s one of my favourites – I loved it!

I don't care, I'd rather sink than call Brad for help!

I don't care, I'd rather sink than call Brad for help!

We went to the gift shop but OMG, the prices were ridiculous!  So after finding out we had tickets to God of Carnage, we called it day and headed back to rest and get ready for dinner.

Funny thing – you know, how you see people all the time walking and talking or texting on their cell phones, most of the time utterly oblivious to traffic or people.  I saw a blind man bump into a hot dog stand with his cane while talking on his cell phone.  I just had to laugh.

My visit – minus pics

Okay, proper report – but alas no digital pics to download.  On Monday morning I’m talking to hubby and he’s griping that he doesn’t have enough meetings scheduled and he has all this free time and he’d rather be home.  By late afternoon he calls and ask me to join him.  Then I get a call from a friend who says she’ll take my dog.  So, surfing madly around the net I book a flight at less than crazy prices (there’s only 3 airlines that fly from Vancouver to New York) and then I’m off to the bank to get American money.  Then over to my friend’s place whose husband is recuperating from peritonitis.  Her little one keeps saying Juno is biting her even though she’s nowhere near her.  Then both girls are crying over this and that and pitching their voices so high I’m ready to have a meltdown never mind the dog.    Her husband is looking green around the gills and it becomes apparent that the timing is absolutely horrible.  So I call it a wrap and start making phone calls.  It is now 9pm and I have to be up at 4am to catch a plane and I have no dog sitter.  I email and call our doggy daycare service and call my friend to pick up my dog the next morning to deliver her.  An hour later, a plan is set and I’m packing a carry-on and calling people and ironing my pants.  4 am comes too soon and I move so quickly out the door, I forget my Ipod and camera.  At the airport, it dawns on my foggy mind that I shouldn’t be at the international side cause my flight connects in Calgary, so I make my way over and check in and rush to get myself caffeinated. Silly me.

In Calgary, I go through the roughest American security check I’ve ever gone through.  The guy makes me replace my ziploc bag of travel sized liquids to a tiny f****  ziploc bag which meant I had to ditch my shaving cream and antibacterial gel.  But what can I do, I have to make my connection.  No big deal, I think, as he paws his way through my carry on luggage.  Finally, I make it into my seat and I’m on my way to Newark.  I had  paid for a shared ride van on the internet the night before.  I thought it was a good idea since I didn’t want to pay $50 for a cab.  Mmmm, you the know the saying, time is money?  Well, you get what you pay for as well.  I get on the shuttle, and after a while he finally leaves, but then comes back around to the terminal because his van isn’t full.  He thinks some other driver took some of his passengers.  A couple of us start grumbling.  I wish I had a joke about the black Buddhist, the Arab in a ski jacket and the Jew, being stuck in van driven by a Jesus loving Latino but I don’t.  I’m frigging exhausted.  A lady starts tearing into the guy and she’s not letting up.  She’s taking names and numbers and then calls her friend to let them know of our captivity.  Meanwhile I’m getting rapid texts of where are you, how long are you going to be, etc.   2 hours later, I’m at the hotel in Times Square.  I’m so happy to finally make it that I go to the room number that DH was in 24 hours before!  So via phone texts, I’m directed back to the front desk, get my key and make it to my man’s door.  Ah, kisses all around!

We were at the Doubletree – which is pretty damn good by the way.  They even give you a warm gooey chocolate chip cookie!  We were on the 31st floor suite with perfect view of Times Square.  A quick freshen up and we meet two of my actor friends from Vancouver.  I’m sitting in a cozy lit backyard of a Italian restaurant in Greenwich Village  with two fabulous girls and my fabulous husband.  One can of Red Bull and a lemon drop martini later and I am transported back to 1986.  Meaning I am happy and buzzed and feeling the love of good food, good friends, and no worries.  I went to the American Academy of Dramatic Arts a million years ago and it was one of the highlights of my life.  I was young, in love and utterly absorbed by my craft and the bright lights of NYC.  I fall asleep that night giddy with nostalgic emotions.

We have to change hotels the next day, with the United Nations assembly, Obama, the Clinton Foundation meetings, etc, the city is packed to the rafters. DH has seen plenty of police, secret service and various submachine guns.   So off we go down to the Sheraton Manhattan.  Mmmm, not so nice, if you want to know.  As you may know, they charge  a small FORTUNE for hotel room in Manhattan and most hotels rest on their tattered laurels.  The room even smelled musty, but hey, the linens were clean, the two double beds clean and comfy.  Hubby is busy that day, but I’m happy hanging with the girls as they speedwalk everywhere.  Not so good for my flat feet and flip flops but I hung in there.  It was just DH and I that night, we returned to Union Square neighbourhood place, Cornelia Cafe and had a nice meal there.  It was so nice just holding hands and strolling down the street.  So romantic.  We didn’t stay out late but it was one of the nicest evenings we’ve had in a while.  I have to say that I haven’t felt that way in so long.  Maybe it was the magic of the city, I don’t know, but for once, we weren’t freaking out over money or babies or lawyers or social workers. I think this is the life that PJ of Coming 2Terms hinted at.  I was almost there, PJ, almost there, but the lure of baby poo proved to be too strong.  The service everywhere we went was great and the people there were so helpful and good natured.

One of the highlights of my visit was the Tony award winning play, God of Carnage.  DH’s partner has a brother in law who is friends with one of the stars and we got orchestra tickets.  The play was incredibly funny and moving all the same time.  Later that night, hubby re-packed my carry on bag, I’m atrocious at packing seriously, and he was off for an early morning flight to TO.  My friend and I found our way to Century 21 (it’s like a gigantic Winners for you Canadians) and I bought a couple of things.  Boo to my pitiful spending budget and limited time. I was supposed to buy my friends some lunch, but unfortunately we ended up at a restaurant that had time management issues and our food never arrived.  We just left, grabbed some greasy pizza and I had to fly back to the hotel, get my stuff and take the Amtrak to Newark.  2 hours later, I’m on my way home.  I had hubby’s texts and emails keeping me company the whole way.    Note to old creaky self, spend the money on cab fare.

Home sweet home

I’m back and I’m sooooo tired!  I had a great time – but it was all too short!  Darn!  It’s very late, and I’m checking emails and doing laundry and I don’t even know where to start.  I have to pick up Juno tomorrow morning and I miss her sooo much!

Hubby has already sent me welcome home emails and texts – so romantic – he’s home on Monday so that will be nice.  I’m woefully behind on ICLW, but I promise to catch up tomorrow.  Have to go check on mum, I got a call that she fell but she’s okay supposedly.

Whirlwind in NYC

I don’t have a lot of time to post – and of course, I forgot my digital camera and was forced to buy on of these cheap Walgreen box things, but I should have pics by next week. Today, we had breakfast in Central Park, then off the WTC site – it’s currently being transformed into a new WTC – but I did overlook the construction site, said a few heartfelt daimoku and remembered the day.  Then we went to see the Museum of Modern Art – that was groovy and then back to the hotel to rest up a bit.  Oh, yeah, got tickets to God of Carnage so I gotta run!

The Big Apple

Guess who’s going to New York City???!!!!  Me.  After a flurry of phone calls, messed up plans, and emails, my friend is going to pick up Juno and take her to her doggy daycare and I am winging off at an ungodly hour to meet my man!

This is going to play havoc with my ICLW, as I won’t be able to take my laptop, but I’ll cram it all in on the weekend.  Tah!

The old and the very young

By way of an introduction you can read this for all the dusty details.  There’s a definite chill in the air, but lucky for me, the sun is still shining and the mosquitoes are still biting me through my clothes.  No kidding.  Been on a couple of long hikes with Juno through the woods and have woken up to bites on my arms and legs.  Not quite sure how I got through the whole summer with one and end up with 6 in 2 days, but whatever.

Big news – I spent an evening with a friend who has 2 little boys.  And came home with a boatload of baby things.  Collective gasp!  Yes, I brought baby things into my home.  Okay, I haven’t gone through everything, but I brought it into my house.  Me!  Hard to believe, eh?  Besides painting the spare bedroom, that’s the boldest thing I have ever done.  Little shoes, diapers, clothes, sleepers.  Don’t know where to put it all.  As if.  As if.  Note to self, next time, get her to show you how to change a diaper.

On Sunday, I brought some homemade soup over to a friend who has his appendix rupture and was recovering from surgery.  I assumed either his wife, kids or some relative combination might be holding down the fort, but I ended waking him up from a nap, as they had all gone out so he could rest.  Nice of me, eh?  Here’s some soup, nice drainage tube, gotta run!  I took Juno over to a nearby lake/park and found doggy heaven.  She romped with some dogs and even ran into her doggy daycare “teacher”.  So we hung out in the sunshine, and chatted to our respective counterparts and had a really good time.  I tried not to hyper ventilate at the thought of watching over a newborn and a puppy at the same time.

Speaking of which, I took Juno with me to visit my mum last week.  One day, I tied Juno to my mum’s chair and I went in to get us something to drink and eat.  While waiting in line, I looked through the window to find mum had nodded off and Juno was waiting patiently.  She looked so vulnerable, so old.  My mother was always a woman on the go, she was always moving, always doing something, even if it was driving me nuts.  She had such a shitty life, really, being married to a miserable man, working in a factory she hated, waiting so long to blossom as a singer and bask in applause. She deserved so much more than to have her mind taken from her.

My sister told me that my father had turned up, a surprise visit, to see her and his grandson.  He had survived prostate cancer (early detection), hip replacement surgery, and other illnesses and is still driving.  Still commuting between the States and Barbados.  He made cursory inquiries about mum and me, but talked mainly about himself.  He’s on his 3rd marriage.  Sis told me he looked old and frail, but he’s still kicking about.  I told her that his being there was his way of making amends, of making an effort (now that he’s had death knocking on his door more than a few times).  She remains unimpressed and I can’t say that I blame her.  The compassion he has shown for the mother of his children is imperceptible.

The following day we visited Starbucks again (they should give us a discount, don’t you think?) and while I was picking up stuff to throw in the garbage, Juno tugging on her leash, Mum scooted away from me in an instant.  I looked up and down the street, no Mum.  I wished for Superman’s eyes.  I asked a girl at the table next to us which direction she had gone.  She pointed and off I went.  Indeed she was out of my line of vision.  She was actually tugging at the apartment doors of where my friend is moving to.  In an instant, she had covered 100 metres.  She can move like the wind when she wants to.  I corralled her and took her back to the home. Once again, I envision a baby strapped to my chest, a puppy straining on her leash and Mum wandering off.  Who says I don’t have a full time job?

So my dad, 3 years older than her, is still driving and eluding the Grim Reaper and enjoying Bajan beaches and my mum is wandering in the mist.  Grrr.  Sigh.  And I have baby clothes in my house.