Our anniversary

I have to admit, there were times when I wasn’t 100% sure I’d reach my 8th wedding anniversary.   But we have and I am so grateful.  We know about 5 couples  who have recently announced separations or divorces and though it’s not always a bad thing, it does bring out the worst in people.

When times were tough, I’d remind myself of the good times:  DH dancing for me in his underwear trying to make me laugh, catching up in bed on the weekends, bringing me flowers for no reason and for when I was having a bad day. During the last 4 years, they’ve been a lot of bad days for me.  He told me the other day the his friends often complain that their wives are in a bad mood when they come home and he said he was grateful that I wasn’t a moody woman.  I don’t know how he came to that crazy conclusion but who was I to stop him while he was expressing his gratitude for me?  He can be a little short on listening and empathy skills.  This year, however, I have seen a change in him, a softening maybe since we made a match.  He really tries to listen more and see the other person’s perspective.  As we approach our destination, I see a man who wants to be a father.  He wants to be a good provider.  The only thing that unhinges him is when I won’t talk to him and his work.  If things aren’t going well in either of those areas, he’s miserable.  Work has been tough lately, but this hope has been driving him.  I know it.   He wants a family life with me.  He wants me to be happy. He wants us both to lead full and enjoyable lives.  For this, I am grateful.

We went to see a movie (A Serious Man – good but strange – strangest Coen brother movie yet) and then to an Italian restaurant.  We had one of those waiters with a mysterious accent and slicked sparse hair who glide in and out from the table.  I was in the middle of a intense speech to him when the maitre’d came over so I let him know politely but firmly that we didn’t want to order dessert just yet.  (Slight digression:  why do wait staff insist you order dessert the minute they take the dinner plates away?) I had hubby’s undivided attention (no sports channel, no dog, no Blackberry), I had to take advantage to let him know that I was grateful for the life that we had, that I was doing okay on my path to not holding on to things in a sweaty death grip and that either way this thing turns, I knew I’d be okay.  Okay, that last part was faked, but you know what I mean.

It seems that most of our celebratory dinners have been marred by the ever present question of will we or won’t we have a child and we deliberately kept off that topic. We just wanted to have a nice time and we did.  No looking back, no looking forward, just living in the present. It was good.


12 thoughts on “Our anniversary

  1. Happy anniversary, dear Deathstar & her dh! Glad you had a nice evening out. I hope by this time next year, you will need a babysitter to go out to celebrate (& NOT for Juno, lol).

  2. Ditto what LoriBeth said about needing a babysitter next year and ditto what ohn said about watching Juno for you. I am glad to hear you had a happy anniversary.

  3. Happy 8th anniversary and I hope your wish comes true before Christmas! I am also an adoptive mom and I hated the holidays before we had our baby because each year we were wondering whether this was finally the last Christmas we had to celebrate alone.

  4. Happy anniversary, my friend. I’m glad you have a good man who loves you and wants to take care of you – you deserve all that as well as every happiness.

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