I have to admit, there were times when I wasn’t 100% sure I’d reach my 8th wedding anniversary. But we have and I am so grateful. We know about 5 couples who have recently announced separations or divorces and though it’s not always a bad thing, it does bring out the worst in people.
When times were tough, I’d remind myself of the good times: DH dancing for me in his underwear trying to make me laugh, catching up in bed on the weekends, bringing me flowers for no reason and for when I was having a bad day. During the last 4 years, they’ve been a lot of bad days for me. He told me the other day the his friends often complain that their wives are in a bad mood when they come home and he said he was grateful that I wasn’t a moody woman. I don’t know how he came to that crazy conclusion but who was I to stop him while he was expressing his gratitude for me? He can be a little short on listening and empathy skills. This year, however, I have seen a change in him, a softening maybe since we made a match. He really tries to listen more and see the other person’s perspective. As we approach our destination, I see a man who wants to be a father. He wants to be a good provider. The only thing that unhinges him is when I won’t talk to him and his work. If things aren’t going well in either of those areas, he’s miserable. Work has been tough lately, but this hope has been driving him. I know it. He wants a family life with me. He wants me to be happy. He wants us both to lead full and enjoyable lives. For this, I am grateful.
We went to see a movie (A Serious Man – good but strange – strangest Coen brother movie yet) and then to an Italian restaurant. We had one of those waiters with a mysterious accent and slicked sparse hair who glide in and out from the table. I was in the middle of a intense speech to him when the maitre’d came over so I let him know politely but firmly that we didn’t want to order dessert just yet. (Slight digression: why do wait staff insist you order dessert the minute they take the dinner plates away?) I had hubby’s undivided attention (no sports channel, no dog, no Blackberry), I had to take advantage to let him know that I was grateful for the life that we had, that I was doing okay on my path to not holding on to things in a sweaty death grip and that either way this thing turns, I knew I’d be okay. Okay, that last part was faked, but you know what I mean.
It seems that most of our celebratory dinners have been marred by the ever present question of will we or won’t we have a child and we deliberately kept off that topic. We just wanted to have a nice time and we did. No looking back, no looking forward, just living in the present. It was good.