I was out on my daily walk with Juno and Special K and was feeling particularly lonesome for some reason. My galpal was off to meet her personal trainer (what’s that?) and so I was left to the ducks and the swans. I ran into a little boy that I saw the other day who coincidentally had the same name as my son. We chatted with his grandmother/mother/sitter/friend and her dog while Juno acted her usual skittish self. She doesn’t take kindly to strangers. Then on we went and on the way home I ran into another young mother and her 5 month old in one of those …what’s that fancy word… ubiquitous jogging strollers you see everywhere in this town. I tell you, tiny babies are like crack to women. They just gotta have a little taste. She was probably as desperate for adult talk as I was and so we chatted a bit about the stroller, how old our children were, etc.
Then off the road to home I went and I saw a filming crew setting up on the street. I felt a deep pang. I so wanted to be part of it – in a cozy coat, walking down the street with a script going to block the shot. Sigh. I ran into an actor I knew who was indeed on his way to do just that. A tall, handsome black fellow that I know. I introduced my son and we chatted. When actors ask you what you’ve been doing, they rarely mean in your life, they mean work wise. I pointed to the kid as my new creative project. He said he wanted kids, but he’s a guy, and frankly, he has all the time in the world. Dusty eggs won’t wait for Mr. Right.
To be brutally honest, I felt a little like crap. Not cause I wasn’t happy with my new life, but because I so missed my old one. The one where it was all my accomplishments, the pride I took in my work, the excitement of a new gig. Having been on the childless side, I knew exactly what it was like to talk to a mother and want to know what she had been doing BESIDES raising the kid. And most of the time, I got a vacant stare. I chimed in that I had been directing a few theatre projects since he’d last seen him, etc, but as he went his way and I went home, I felt a bit of sadness.
I guess the universe heard me and sent me some people to talk to; a nine year old kid (what was he doing out of school?), a young mum, and a hot actor. There’s a post in there somewhere, but I’m off to walk the kids and then go visit a Buddhist friend. Hopefully, she’ll have something sage and wise to tell me.