Hey, everybody, let’s adopt!

Well, I suppose you’ve all heard about the Russian adoption story that is in the news.  I’ve read A & A’s take on it and she says it much better than I could.  She’s actually spent a great deal of time in Russia as well so her perspective is very interesting.  I can’t fathom “returning” a child but it’s not the first time I’ve heard of it. Perhaps Oprah will have her on for an interview.  She had Nadya Suleman on and asked her if she had ever considered putting any of her 14 children in foster care or adoption.  Seriously?  Just in case you missed it, Oprah, she paid big money to get knocked up.  And she got her wish, all under the age of 5.  I’m betting in a year she’s putting herself up for adoption.

Here’s another Russian adoption story that’s not going to get the same amount of press.  It reminded me of my recent post about people thinking I’m some sort of saint by adopting.  I’m sure there’s various reasons for people wanting to adopt internationally, but why do people insist that you “buy American” or “buy Canadian”?  They’re not cars, folks.  They’re not produce.  It’s not about reducing carbon footprints.  Mind you, that’s usually from people who have no idea what adoption truly entails, and have no intention of taking a child out of foster care  or an orphanage anyway.  That’s solely the responsibility of infertile people and celebrities.  Oh, and missionaries… don’t get me started.

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9 thoughts on “Hey, everybody, let’s adopt!

  1. This new story hit a particular chord with me. Through school events and sports with children in common, I have become acquainted with a local family that adopted from Russia. They were not told of any issues with the child prior to, or at the time of adoption. According to the agency this child was “perfect”. This child is now 10 and has multiple issues due to fetal alcohol syndrome. She is continuously disruptive at all venues, has no concept of right and wrong, and has created chaos more times than I can tell you. Now, would this family put her on a plane with a note? No. She is their daughter and they are getting her all the help they can afford. With that being said, had they been told at the time that she was in the orphanage because she was removed from her alcoholic mothers home (they were told she was placed in the orphanage solely for the reason that her mother had other children and could not care for another child)they probably would have given a little thought to the adoption prior to all the trips, checks written, and emotional involvement they had. During a rare desperate period, she told me that there were days she was sorry they brought their daughter home. She is ashamed by her feelings, but she couldn’t deny them.

    I am not saying what is right and what is wrong, I just know that through our conversations, they have found out that there are hundreds (if not thousands) of children here in the US from Russia, that have very very serious emotional issues that simple therapy and time can’t repair.

  2. I really shouldn’t read comments on articles regarding adoption and infertility. While the NPR piece is a breath of fresh air and simply a man talking about his experience so many people feel fit to attack him. I’m flabbergasted that adoption is such a polarizing subject when these people writing comments haven’t been touched by it at all. *argh* But thanks for the link! ICLW

  3. I agree with Geo – I loved the article and then was silly enough to read the comments. What really saddens me is the stigma that still seems to be attached to adoption and a lot of those comments could cause an adoptee to feel less than he/she truly is.
    Those comments belittle all sides of the triad and my guess is precious few of the negative ones come from anyone who has firsthand knowledge of adoption. At least there were a few voices of reason within them but alas, the whole point of the article seems to have been lost and like you said, it will NEVER get the air time it truly deserves.

  4. The day before this story broke, we had decided we are going to pursue adoption. Then this is all over the headlines. Did it make us think twice for a moment? Absolutely. But then I felt a stronger pull for those families whose Russian adoptions were now jeopardized. It’s fueled my fire to learn more, to advocate when I can, and to just be more informed. Thanks for your thoughts on this.

    Happy ICLW!

    ~Miriam (ICLW #71) Hannah Wept, Sarah Laughed

  5. It drives me batty that the people who so glibly give advice are the people who seem to know the LEAST about a situation or subject. Thanks for the links.

    ~ICLW

  6. Hey hun. I’ve heard it all, and became a mom at 46, nearly 47. My sons are through traditional surrogacy, and they are now 2.

    I totally understand and BTDT w/everything you have experienced.

    I am adding you to my blogroll and sending you blessings, from one barren, over 40 woman, to another.

    Hugs, and ICLW.

    the grey lady

  7. It’s just *wonderful* when people with no context decide that they know best. Especially when they have no intention in bringing a viable solution to the table.

    ICLW

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