So far so good

The eldest sister and her clan has returned home, and all in all, the visit was not as bad as I thought it was going to be. First of all, no one really pissed me off and second of all, my expectations were incredibly low.  I also practised that wise way of trying not to control what other people do.  Actually pretty hard for me to do, but frankly I never actually spent that much time with them.  They managed to squeeze in a few visits to mother on their jam packed vacation and shopping trip to Seattle.

My sister’s kids are all grown up and are doing very well.  They are educated, bright, personable and tow the party line with their parents.  In fact, they all still live at home.  Not terribly unusual with West Indian/African parents.  They don’t drink, smoke or do crack.  I’m pretty darn sure they’re all virgins too.  I could be wrong.  But I don’t think so.  Nope.  I would have preferred to spend more one on one time with them, but they all pretty much stayed together at all times.  She managed to avoid spending any time at all with me on her own.  Nice to see my sister has created her own close clan minus her two sisters and her mother.

On the night when we were all together at a restaurant with mother, my eldest sister piped up and actually did a flowery, meaningless speech and presented my mum with a Kodak digital picture display complete with R&B music of all her important family moments.  Lovely. You know the ones that took place within the 7 years she didn’t bother visiting her mother in the care home.  And guess what, they picked up the tab.  If I known that, I would have ordered the sparkling wine.  I thanked them, even though of course, I was planning on paying for it, and let them have their moment. Frankly, as DH said, it was the most useful thing they have ever made in 7 years.

On the surface, despite my bitter tone, it was rather pleasant and well intentioned.  I had a nice time talking to my nieces and nephews and only took my mother to the washroom once.  I kept calling on others help redirect her when she got restless and wanted to walk away or tried to walk through the pane glass of window of the private room.  Yep, people, that’s what I’ve been doing for years, you can handle it for 10 minutes.  I could see how uncomfortable my eldest sister was with her, never displaying one tender moment with her.  Perhaps she has her reasons, who knows?

Mun was a little overwhelmed but she was happy and that’s what counts with me.

My younger sister and son arrived the day before and was staying with us.  I said “was” because her little boy is extremely allergic to Juno, so I put them in a hotel today.  Pity, because the Precious and his 6 yr old cousin were a match made in heaven.

Oh, yeah, did I mention my kid fell off the change table? Yep, that’s what I said.  Fell off the change table, while I was bending down to put diapers in his diaper bag.  Apparently he was gazing at his cousin so hard, he decided to roll off and fell into his laundry hamper.  I had just unbuckled the safety straps and was in the process of changing him when helpful nephew brought in his diaper bag, and I bent down for 2 seconds.  No thump on the head, no injuries.  Apparently, being extremely bendable is an infant’s blessing.  I aged 10 years. He was screaming more of out surprise as I was retrieving him out the laundry container, but no trauma, no injuries.  Well, the trauma was mine.  For some reason, I was terribly, terribly calm as I rocked away his few tears.  I briefly considered having a breakdown, but my sister was there, my nephew was there, and I had to get her to a job evaluation test.  Apparently, my little one has mastered the let’s stretch back so far I can roll over manoeuvre the front end of a chest of drawers into a laundry hamper in the past couple of days. The change mat label did warn me.

I miss not having my little nephew around, yet I was a bit relieved to have the place to myself again. Having my family visit  creates more work, more distraction, more mess than I am used to.   For the love of all that is holy, my biggest pet peeves are adults who don’t clean up after themselves or their kids.  Crabby, crabby me.

5 thoughts on “So far so good

  1. CONGRATULATIONS! You survived “the visit” and more importantly, you are now an official member in the ‘holyshitmyheartjuststopped” club with the little guys fall. We have ALL been there.
    It sounds like he had a relatively soft landing thankfully. DO NOT beat yourself up about it. I think it is in their nature to try to scare the living hell out of you as many times as possible.
    I won’t tell you how many ER trips and stitches and casts we have had in this family of 3 boys. 🙂

  2. i read a quote recently which seems so common sense and simple, yet it hit me like a ton of bricks and seems lik a good mantra … “you can’t base your own personal happiness on things you can not control”.
    you seemed to have the right attitude towards the visit … low expectations help get me through a lot in life too!

  3. Glad to hear things are going well with the visits. I love it when my family comes to visit but I love it MORE when they leave!

    I have vivid memories of a vacation that MG was lucky to come out of alive. The poor thing had more mom/dad induced mishaps in 3 weeks than she’s had the entire rest of her life….some of which I caught on film. Yikes!

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