I have written some good posts in my head, but to get them down on the screen? Meh! Is it just me or does anyone else wake up with a sense of ohmigod, another day, rinse, repeat? I can’t blame it on the kid either cause I’ve always felt rather slow and pensive in the morning. That’s why it always helps to write, read and reflect before other things intrude. My early morning blogging and reading always helped that, but now the Precious likes to start his days earlier than I do. I’m trying to squeeze in other times for Buddhist study, reading, musing.
I’ve been battling energy ebb and flow these days. Coffee has become my saviour. Oh, sweet FF French Vanilla International Delight – I don’t care if you’re just petroleum oil, I love you mixed in with strong, bitter coffee. One point cup of wake me up. Even the smell gives me hope.
I get up, put on my I’ve given up all hope of being glamorous housecoat, grunt and shuffle past the hubby who I hope is on the way out the door and not trying to get me to talk or smile or be demanding of my attention in any sort of way. He comes to me for a peck and I feign adoration. If all goes well, he slips out. If he starts asking me what are my plans for the day, a thunderstorm brews in my face.
I start the coffee, empty the dishwasher and prepare my little man’s breakfast of cereal and fruit, a bottle and then shuffle down the hallway. He’s the only one that gets a real smile. With a fresh diaper, I walk him or carry him down the hallway to his highchair in the kitchen to start the day. After feeding him, sometimes we just stare at each other. Mutual adoration society. I can see why some husbands complain that the woman loses interest after the kid arrives. He doesn’t care what I look like, he doesn’t criticize, he’s always glad to see me. He finds me fascinating. Sometimes we study his first learning words book or we listen to music and goof around. Sometimes he’s entranced by my hands or the scarf on my head. I look at him and tell him I love him. I try to remember it’s not all about just feeding and trying to keep his nose snot free.
PMS has hit with me with a fury and by 8pm, I’m not really fit for any sort of live interaction. So I’ve got to declare to take my blood iron pills. You’d think this would be a routine for me, but usually I start out really well, then fade out. Kinda like with WW. There was no weigh in this Monday due to Labour Day and so during the long weekend, I ate with no regard for points. DH and I split a bag of cotton candy at the Ex and half a cinnamon sugar Beaver Tail and a bag of those little donuts (each). Should have had another Beaver Tail, they’re better.
Apparently, I don’t want to lose weight, either. I make the old college try when I feel energetic. I even took the kid to a gym where they had a daycare. The women there seemed a little lethargic, like they were drugged. But if he’s fed, he’s easily entertained and there was a little girl there who brought him toys. The class was okay, I cut out a little early to go get him. I was really nervous about leaving him there, but I had to give it a try. He survived without catching the plague and didn’t seem distressed in the slightest. It took a lot to get to that class on time – it was the biggest achievement of the day as a matter of fact.
I’m going to try and not think about the fact that my friend is jetting off to the Toronto International Film Festival tomorrow and then New York after that. I will be taking my mum to the hairdresser. Good times.