I took The Precious to an audition last week – luckily, an actor/dad entertained him while I was acting my heart out (and no, I didn’t get it, but I should have). One of the casting directors was a new mother and had her child in the office so I knew it would be cool. Actors do occasionally bring their kids because you’re essentially “working” for five minutes and then you’re back to the rest of the day. However, to prepare for said five minutes takes a lot of work prior and dragging your kid along is not fun. That day, luckily, I was willing to just not fight it and I felt pretty calm.
On the way out, I ran into a fellow African American actor and she was surprised I had a kid. For the first time ever someone actually asked if I had given birth to him or did I adopt him? Most people just assume I had him cause he looks like me. I told her he came from her home town as a matter of fact. And then she did the oddest thing. She congratulated me and thanked me for adopting a black kid. She thanked me. On behalf of the entire black race, I guess, I don’t know. I have to admit, I was taken aback. Yes, I’ve heard the “good for you” or “bless you” sort of reply but not the “oh, you took a black one – good for you”.
I had wanted a child with my husband. That didn’t happen. We had gone into this adoption thing in search of a bi-racial child because of who we were as a couple. There was no politics to that decision. That too was not happening for some reason. When we were presented with the “blind date” match, we were going for it even though we knew the child was African American. I just wanted a kid but having the experience of growing up black in a white world (on this side of the planet anyway), made that decision of parenting a black child over a Caucasian child (a decision I never had to make by the way) natural. At least to me.
Still not sure I want to be thanked for it though. I didn’t adopt cause I wanted to save someone or make a political statement. I just wanted to be a mum, to raise a family with my hubby. Just like those who never had to question it, think about it or agonize over the political correctness of it.