Archive | October 2010

I need a nap

The Precious sleeping through to 6:30 am is now the exception instead of the rule.  Despite all of my best efforts at putting him down earlier, dressing him lightly or  having a hearty dinner, he is still getting up between 2 and 5am.  Sometimes after I give him a bottle, he decides to be quiet for 5 whole minutes before he breaks out into a baby aria. I am also now waking myself up in anticipation that he’s going to get up. Or sometimes I get up to pee and then I just lay in bed waiting.

I’ve also been struggling with him to put him down for naps.  Just the other day, it was a breeze and now it’s a battle.  It pretty much started when he began to crawl and stand.  Now he can cruise around quite quickly on his own. I was warned about this.  There are lots of  tumbles and spills and he needs me around to keep him from braining himself.  He is tall enough now to lean out of his exersaucer and retrieve the dog’s treat ball.  He just prefers play and interaction with me, the dog or even random dog bone than have a nap.  I’d put him down, he’d scream for an hour or so while I pretended it didn’t bother me.  I couldn’t get anything done anyway because I couldn’t hear myself think.  Between the dog, the kid and my mum, and trying to keep the household going, I was getting  a little crabby.  So I took a page out of my husband’s book and now I just play with him until he’s tired and thirsty.  No more struggle, just surrender to the fact that my to do list will be very, very short.  I’m going to check for more baby activity programs for the afternoons, our little baby singalong once a week is not enough.

It’s pretty dry in our place, and I don’t blame the little guy for his big thirst, we always have water on our bedside tables.  I bought a simple little Sunbeam humidifier for his room, but frankly, I’m the one who was coughing so I tried it out in our room.  I’ve been in prop planes that were quieter.  Okay, I’m exaggerating, but it didn’t really stop me from sleeping but it does wake me up when it starts spitting and sputtering.  Hubby is not too happy about it either , so I guess I’m returning it. Just not sure when.  The only upside is that it kept me from listening to his chirping  and I actually fell back asleep faster.

I’ll have to break out the big bucks for a sleeker, quieter model, you know – use the bucks I save for the babysitter.

Celebrity rant

I never do this.  I really don’t care about the private lives of celebrities.  I’ve worked with a lot of them.  They’re just regular people.  Well, horribly insecure,self centred,  scary good-looking and thin regular people. I just have to get this off my chest.  Randy Quaid applying for refugee status after he and his wife were arrested on an outstanding warrant.  Seriously?  Does anyone just follow the regular rules anymore? If you really want to live in Canada,  you just have to fill out some paperwork and pay a fee (or get an expensive lawyer to do it for you) but since your wife’s dad is Canadian she could actually sponsor you.  Again, a nominal fee and a promise to be financially responsible for you for 10 years.  You could have done this last year and you would have picked up a West Vancouver property for a song.   Why now?  I mean, he’s probably made more money in one gig than I have made in my entire LIFE!  So if you don’t like where you are living or you are afraid for your life – you could hire security or spend your free time searching for the “star whackers” or perhaps publish your paranoid astute thoughts in Variety as a warning.  Or you could always MOVE somewhere else in your very large country.  Some celebrities prefer to live outside of L.A.  Like in another state on  a ranch surrounded by electric wire.  I hear Alaska is nice and you could take their lovely airline to LA whenever you want at a favourable price.

Perhaps he felt as persecuted as African-Americans did back in the day when they were being lynched for looking at a white woman the wrong way.  Betcha they wanted to come up here and claim refugee status but the Underground Railroad had been closed for some time.   Or perhaps the thousand of Jews in Nazi Germany who were turned away.  Good thing Canada has progressed as a nation in terms of immigration.  We may not be able to get rid of the war criminals or  drug dealers, who after all just want to be free to make a few bucks in peace just like anybody else, but we are more than willing to give shelter to a bona fide movie star.  In any case, there are lots of people you could stay with here (not us)  or perhaps there is a vacant condo you could live in.  A neighbour would even let you run a cable through their window so you can watch cable.  We are a hospitable people  if nothing else.

Listen, I’ve always liked his work and I’m sure he would be fun to work with. I’d even love to have dinner with him and his wife.  I’m sure they’re a lot of fun though I doubt they’d pick up the tab.    However, I find it annoying when people claim “refugee” status out of sheer convenience, particularly privileged people.  Their family is not being taken away in the middle of the night for their political beliefs, they’re not hiding under floorboards from machete wielding secret police, they’re not even trying to unionize a sweatshop or trying to advocate for the poor and voiceless.  They don’t  even look really hungry.  They just can’t/won’t pay their tax bill (just a theory).

I’ll see you on set, Randy, but don’t worry, I won’t sneak up behind you.

How things change

Monsoon weather has began and heralds the lack of sunshine we’re about to endure for about the next 5 months.  Well, I’m exaggerating of course (sort of) but I suppose it’s better than tornadoes.

The weekend was pretty busy.  DH was on daddy duty so I went for a lovely pedicure and spent a quiet afternoon studying for a Buddhist exam the next morning.  Then we went out Saturday night for a friend’s birthday.  It was our first time using an official babysitter, a lovely young university student.  Okay, I admit, I called her when I went to the bathroom. I couldn’t help myself.   He cried a little at bedtime, no doubt not used to having a stranger put him to bed at night.  Everything went well, but man, it’s expensive!  At $14 per hour plus what we spent on dinner, I can tell we’re not going to be doing that too often.  Then again, the point is that we should go out together at least once a month, right?  Have a little fun?  We were a very diverse group at 10 sitting at a round table in a Chinese restaurant.  And we were the only ones with a kid, so it was refreshing not talking about kid stuff all night.  People were going out dancing later, but it was rainy and cold out and all I wanted was to go home and snuggle in my flannels.

Morning came and I was out the door to do the exam.  Our organization had this exam in order for members to really deepen their study.  It was multiple choice and fill in the blank kind of stuff.  It was kinda fun actually. I saw two women who had I gone to Caledon with who have given so much love and encouragement and it was nice to see them.  I looked back to an old post when I actually attended this conference and it brought back the memory of being on the bus, listening to the other women talk about their children with such love.  One woman said her son was her heartbeat.  I thought for her sake nothing had better happen to him.  Now I know exactly how she felt.

Then back home to hubby who was exhausted and congested from a cold (welcome to my world, buddy) and took the Precious to a friend’s pumpkin carving party.

I had stopped going to these events because there were always the same people there with tons of kids asking the same old questions about my family status.  Yet there I was carving the kid’s first pumpkin while kids were running around.  I didn’t have that awkward out of place feeling I had always had.

Funny how some things change, eh?


Well, my little walk on cameo was on Diary of Wimpy Kid 2.  Vomit Lady #1, that’s me.  I drove out to the middle of the burbs for 7pm, got called to set at 1:10am and was wrapped after 3 takes of screaming and was home by 2:10am.  What did I do for 6 hours in a tiny, stuffy trailer?  I read a big fat book, Stephen King’s Under the Dome and drank Neo Citran.  Not a bad gig, I’d say.  Feature film have good budgets, hence I had nice clothes that are not from Value Village and they treat you really well. Why can’t I have someone do my hair everyday?  The hairstylist took my sad old ponytail that I stick on my head everyday and made me look all slick and put together.  And why can’t someone follow me around with an umbrella to keep the rain off of me?  Why?????  Life is unfair, that’s why.

When I got home, I thought I heard the tiny wonder so after removing a ton of makeup and pulling out hairpins, I sat on the edge of the bed and waited.  Silence, so it was safe to go to sleep.  I didn’t even hear DH get up at 5am. I heard him playing the little guy in hopes that he would sleep in.   What can I say about a guy who gets up two nights in a row and brings home flowers? He’s awesome! I got up by 8  and made coffee and opened up the laptop, and the kid woke up.  Yeah, good try, honey.  I think he smells the coffee.  I’ll get up tonight even though it’s my sleep in day tomorrow.

I have an audition later today and I called in a fellow actress to babysit for me.  She makes quick cash and I can make a quick getaway.  We’re also going out tomorrow night and I have another babysitter coming in!  Oooh, look at me!   Getting all independent and everything.  It makes evenings out a bit expensive, but with this gig, and notetaking income coming in, I think it’s worth it for my peace of mind.

A bit weary

When DH came home from work yesterday, I was hoping he’d take the Precious out with him and the dog.  Of course, the Precious was delighted to see him, as seeing daddy means flips on the bed, being thrown in the air and  fun time all around without attempts to clean his snotty nose, cut his nails or moisturize his face.  (Question: Why does he get a cold just as new teeth are coming in?  Does he even have a cold?)  But DH wanted to unwind and gave me the lame excuse that he couldn’t go to the dog park because somebody wants to get out of the stroller all the time. He wanted to unwind.  Really.  I have NO idea what that’s like.  Oh, wait a minute, yes, I do.  Like  yesterday when we went to the dog park and I take him out of the stroller while Juno played with the other dogs.

So, I was  a bit weary but I pack the dude up and went to see mum.  I found her sitting in the hallway on a bench.  It was after dinner and the residents were wandering the halls.  She was happy to see us.  She looked much better but she was not connecting.  I asked her to open her mouth, so I could see but she just nodded and then looked at the baby.  I asked her again and again with physical prompts, she would nod like she understood, but she didn’t.  Maybe she just didn’t want to do it but I don’t think that was it.  I talked with her nurse about her seeing an occupational and physical therapist and then I left with a promise to spend more time with her today.

By the time we got home, it was dark and I was not about to make dinner, so I picked up some takeout.  Hubby had prepared the kid’s dinner and was now  in the mood to take over.  Then I realized I had that tell tale tickle in my throat.  I’ve got a cold.  As my good friend says…Good times.  Shoot day is tomorrow, I’ll let you know how it goes.

Standing guard

I was a having a totally excellent day with the Precious the other day.  We walked in the sunshine; it was that typical beautiful Fall day that you makes you forget winter is coming.  Cool, crisp air, blue skies, multi-coloured leaves, the whole deal.  We come home and I shovel lunch into the big guy’s mouth, a bottle, and he goes down without a squawk.  I settle down with my laptop, expecting to take him for another walk later to pick up some DVDs later for transcription work and the phone rings.  My mum fell down, split her lip and lost her tooth.  She tripped over some sort of threshold that construction workers put down in the dining hall.  They were sending her to emergency for stitches.

I called hubby and luckily he could come home to mind the baby.  I picked up the DVDS and then went to the emergency to wait with mum.  When I found her she was sitting on the bed with her big eyes staring up at me.  She looked like a lost little girl.  My heart broke.  She was doing okay, but I just wanted to break down and cry.  There was a laceration just on her top lip and a deep gash underneath.   She only had the front two and now she had one.   They couldn’t find it at the home.  It wasn’t a critical situation so we had to wait a while to see a doctor.   Oddly, we were in the pediatric care room so we had a TV.  I turned it on and I sat down beside mum and chatted with her.  She told me not to cry.  I managed for her sake.

When the doctor came, he discussed the possibility of not doing stitches because she might become combative and he didn’t want to put her under.  Well, I know my mother better than anyone and he meant well, and I’m going with the assumption that he was thinking of what would be easier for mum instead of him.    I told him to get her some sedatives; she was getting very, very restless and was wandering around the ER and I could only redirect her so much.  So they got her medication, she calmed down and they froze her lip and did the stitches no problem.  I couldn’t be in the same room when they did all that.  I just waited outside.  Makes me wonder what I would do it if it was the Precious.  Except my mum is a grown up and though fragile, she is a warrior.  To see her like that though just made me so sad.  The doctor was very sweet.  At one point, he commented that, “This must very difficult for you.”  I just replied that it had been a long road and I was just grateful for the time we shared. I have to say that hospital is great and staffed with some very caring professionals.  It was important to be there for someone to make sure that they know that old lady over there is LOVED and will get the care she needs in a reasonable amount of time.

I looked across the room and saw another senior laying silent on a gurney and no one was there waiting with her.

Later that night, I got another call that she had fallen off her chair but that she was fine.  Sigh.

I did one hour daimoku for her and all the mothers out there who need it.


One step closer

We spent a couple of days with the in-laws for Thanksgiving.  She made a delicious meal and I was very happy to be there with them.  I brought a dish of candied yams and a low fat apple pie (made with honey brushed phyllo) to share.  Considering the chips, chocolate, wine and cider I drank all weekend, I better put my mouth on lockdown til my next weigh in.  Sigh.  It was all good, y’all, but now I’m paying for it with indigestion and constipation.

My MIL asked if I hear from the Precious’ birthmother.  I told her that I did and every now and then I send her emails with pictures and updates about his progress.  Hubby has never been comfortable with a lot of communication, and his mother feels the same way.  I did try to explain the reasoning behind it and I think she understood that it what was best for her grandson.  She’s from the generation when adoption was closed and everyone thought it was for the best. Now we know that is not the case.

Man, that little baby is growing up.  He’s crawling and pulling himself up and exploring his environment.  He had a great time!  Both dogs behaved beautifully around him, even when he took one of their rubber balls for his own.  Yeah, I know, gross, but I washed it.  He knows his Nanny and reaches out to her with open arms. It’s great to see the smile on her face when he does that.   I get such a kick out of that – like by extension I could make someone glow with happiness.

One night he slept straight through til 6:30 am but the next night, there was a windstorm in the middle of the night and the chimes on the porch went crazy.  It woke us all up.  He woke up and then DH and I waited and waited.  He babbled, but didn’t cry.  Then minutes would go by and he would be silent and then start up again.  I got a bottle ready.  We kept doing the wait and see game.  Eventually, he got louder and louder and in I went.  It’s times like that when I wish we had a nighttime nanny whose only purpose was to be there for him if he wakes up in the middle of the night.  I always think that until I feel him curl up against my furry robe and nestle in, bright eyes looking up at me.  It gets me every single time.

A couple of weeks ago, we received the Precious’ birth certificate.  It’s these bits of official papers that remind me we’re not quite done with the process.  Somehow I expected two of them.  One recording his birth name and his birth mother and one for us.  I’m sure it was explained to me how it was all going to be, but somehow I still expected two.  I know the other one is on record with the state.  I have a box for him, all ready to go for all things related to his story except of course a birth certificate in his birth name.  I sent a copy off to the immigration gods in Buffalo and hope to complete his permanent residency in due time.  I hate dealing with government offices, don’t you?  It’s like you send precious stuff off and you just HOPE that they get it and everything is in order.  In a perfect world, I should be able to call SOMEONE and get that PERSON to actually pick up the phone and speak to me as to when I will be getting a response.  Not a confusing website, full of answers to questions I don’t want to ask.  Oh well, I’m sure it’s the same anywhere.

I’m also going to be busy this weekend working from home.  Doing some notetaking from a DVD – which will have to be done at night of course – boo – but when it’s all said and done, there will be a nice fat cheque in the mail for me – yay!