*I wrote this last night, but went to bed before I finished it.
I should be sleeping but I just have to make this quick post. I am watching Away We Go with John Krasinski and Maya Randolph and I’m probably going to bed right after I write this, so don’t ask me about the ending. Anyways, it’s the story of this couple who are pregnant and they go visiting their friends and family with kids to find out how they can be good parents or something like that. Anyways, they go visit people in Montreal and their friends have 4 adopted kids and everything looks so happy. Maya Randolph tells the wife that her getting pregnant was a happy accident. The wife asks Maya Randolph who is 6 months pregnant how things are going with her pregnancy. She then downs her drink and says half heartedly that she’s happy for her. Then the husband takes them to a strip bar (cause apparently that’s what Montrealers do for fun) and they are stunned to find his wife up there for amateur night. They thought she was in the bathroom. And he sits there riveted while she does a slow, sad dance around the pole (with her clothes on) and tells John Krasinski that she had another miscarriage. Her 5th miscarriage. He goes on to say that they were selfish and waited til their 30s to have children only to find it difficult; that they watched their babies grow and then fade away; that 14 year olds can have babies without barely trying; and that they didn’t know whether to name or bury their dead babies. The wife finishes her sad dance, and goes to cuddle in her husband’s arms.
So. I thought it was incredibly sad for a couple of reasons. I really liked the husband’s monologue about the pain of not being able to have children, the pain of losing your babies. I could really feel the wife’s grief/indifference in face of a pregnant belly. I could even understand that adoption didn’t solve the problem of infertility and loss. But I kinda felt like they were saying that you can adopt all the kids you want, you’re still going to want to keep trying to have your own child and this women endured 5 miscarriages.
Has anyone seen the movie? What do you think? I know there are women who proceed with adoption plans and IVF at the same time. Do they want to just have more than one kid or is it more like hedging your bets kind of thing? Would I have done the same thing had it been an option? Not sure.