Poo for me, playtime for daddy

DH forwarded me this article about parenting.  Nice to know he’s interested.  And once I read it, I replied that it was crap.  Basically it says that dads should stick to playing with their children and leave all the rest of the child-rearing to women cause women get upset when their roles are usurped by the dads.  Not only is that sexist, it’s ridiculous.  Now I am well aware that when the Precious was a wee one, DH was a tad less enthusiastic about handling him.  However, he fed him, he bathed him, he changed him.  He would also just snuggle with him for the heck of it.  I also know that I was super protective over him and would annoy DH with my micro managing.  However, I am the same way with dogs.  I certainly never felt like he was trying to take over.  In fact, when he does more, I’m happier.  I can take a shower, wash my hair, relax for a bit.  At one point, he thought I could accomplish more during my day – until he spent a full day with the kid.  It was a humbling experience.  I was a teensy bit smug.

I enjoy the fact that DH is very nurturing with our son.  I would prefer he cut his nails as well, but that’s probably never going to happen. I am in no way threatened by that fact.  I could be wrong, but I would hazard a guess that most women would prefer their husbands take a nuts and bolts approach to child rearing.  Just leaving the dads to playtime only leads to an under-appreciation of what it takes to raise a kid.  I’ve noticed that since I am with the Precious most of the time, Daddy magically becomes Top Dog #1 when he’s around.  I have learned to occasionally just be fun with the kid.  That usually means that nothing else gets done and he looks a bit dishevelled and sticky.  Also, I’ve noticed that it tends to undermine the authority of the mother.  Why listen to mum, dad doesn’t make me mind my manners, he just lets me do what I want – cause you know, that’s how boys are.  They get to act wild and have no consideration for others.

Another aspect of this ridiculous study is that it does not talk about same sex couples.  Does one mother feel “biologically” undermined when another mother tries to change diapers?

“For mothers, maybe, it’s hard to give up some control to the father,” she said. “That could be a total social effect, but there could some sort of biological underpinning to it.”

Really?  What is it?  Where’s the hard data?  Here’s a concept – both parents acting as  a team.  I may be crazy, but that’s the model I’m leaning towards.

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5 thoughts on “Poo for me, playtime for daddy

  1. What I took away from this whole thing is that the fathers acted like children, the mothers said something along the line of “you’re an idiot” (which is usually true)and someone got paid to turn it into a study.

  2. Oh, this sort of thing really frosts my muffins! Another possible explanation for why the couples in which the fathers participated in caregiving were less harmonious: the fathers resented the hell out of having to care for their own children and either did it half-assed or complained about it.

    Just another example of asking women to take one for the team by doing all the repetitive, difficult work in the interest of making everyone else happy.

  3. Wow; what a load of bullshit. It is shocking that this kind of sexist crap is still being published. Who wouldn’t want to just do the fun stuff? Both parents should share in the less than fun work of childcare because no one should have to be the authoritarian all the time.

  4. Gawd what is this the 1950s? My husband and I are pretty even on parenting. Mark bathes Theo, cuts his nails, feeds him, naps with him. He even cooks most dinners – he’s addicted to roasting meat but that’s another story. But really I do do some things!

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