Archive | March 12, 2011

Freaking out

Okay, I admit it.  I should have been heavily medicated for this move.  I lost it this week.  DH went away on business and I was home alone with the dog and the kid and the boxes.  The kid has been teething – the molars – and oh, boy, that’s terrible.  He was whiny, bitchy, miserable, clingy – no, wait – that was me.  At one point, while I waited for the Advil to take effect, I went to my happy place while he alternatively wanted me to pick him up then put him down again all the while whinging like a creaky door. He’s also coughing a lot but that’s part of the teething.

We went out a lot (ohmigod – STAIRS, no elevator!) , exploring the neighbourhood.  Dunbar is like a urban suburb.  A sleepy stretch of stores mere blocks away (a convenient liquor store and Tim Horton’s tantalizingly close) amidst lots of beautiful old homes.  Some renovated and spiffy, some not, all incredibly expensive.  The majority are million dollar homes.  For my American readers, please do not envision beautiful, huge estates.  These houses are fairly ordinary.  It’s all about prime real estate here.

I discovered another black person just a block and half away.  An older gentleman coming out on his porch, I waited til I caught his eye and we started to chat.  Turns out he coaches a soccer team that my husband and a former co-worker (from his corrections days) played with years ago.     Small world, eh?  Then later on the return trip, my son’s loud cries attracted his wife (who thought it was her cat) and she came out to say hi.

I tried to do some unpacking, but dealing with the Precious and the dog made that nearly impossible.  After he went to bed, I just puttered around, went to bed and did email and read a bit.  I was just worn out.    By the time DH came home, I was quite jittery.  He caught the early flight, came home, changed, went back to the office, came back home, took the dog, did some errands and by the time he finally returned home, I literally bolted and ran out the door with the promise to bring back Indian food.  I think I was shaking. When I was driving down a side road, I clipped someone’s driver side view mirror with my side view mirror.  I’ve never done that before.  The guy approached his car a few moments later and I actually admitted it and apologized.  He just waved it off.  I guess it happens.

As I waited for our order to be ready, I just sat and breathed in and out trying to look normal.  I was considering not going home for a couple of days.  I just needed a break away from a teething toddler who insisted on careening around a non babyproofed home (he fell continuously trying to maneouvre the raised entrance to the kitchen, hit his head on a corner (not that hard but it scared the crap out of me) pulled things out of boxes, etc.  The dog was wondering what the heck was going on, skittered down the basement stairs,  and wanted in and out several times a day, the forced air heating was either too hot or too cold, the hardwood floors are slightly slanted and creak, the washer wasn’t working, the backyard needed cleaning up, I don’t have a rake, I only have two arms and one of them is cramped because I’m carrying around a cranky baby who won’t let me out of his sight.  I need my hair done.  And a drink.

The waiter asked me if I wanted something to drink, but I just took water.  An hour later, I came home and realized that a lot of people fold in their side view mirrors because the streets are narrow and people park on both sides.  Okay, don’t feel so bad about that boo-boo anymore. My husband is exhausted and stressed out from work yet he’s working ceaselessly trying to put the place to order.  He’s a good man.  I can’t complain because I chanted for this and now I have it.  I just panicked cause I’m out of my comfort zone, out of a comfy, spacious, electrically equipped home and into one that is “as is” quirky and I don’t even own it  and I’m freaking out cause it’s just CHANGE.

Prayers for Japan

I called my Japanese friends to inquire if their loved ones were safe.  I didn’t get to watch the news of the devastating earthquake until late last night.   My daimoku goes to the people of Japan in condolences. May the dear members of SGI spread their protective wings to care for all those affected. Nam myo ho renge kyo.