Freaking out

Okay, I admit it.  I should have been heavily medicated for this move.  I lost it this week.  DH went away on business and I was home alone with the dog and the kid and the boxes.  The kid has been teething – the molars – and oh, boy, that’s terrible.  He was whiny, bitchy, miserable, clingy – no, wait – that was me.  At one point, while I waited for the Advil to take effect, I went to my happy place while he alternatively wanted me to pick him up then put him down again all the while whinging like a creaky door. He’s also coughing a lot but that’s part of the teething.

We went out a lot (ohmigod – STAIRS, no elevator!) , exploring the neighbourhood.  Dunbar is like a urban suburb.  A sleepy stretch of stores mere blocks away (a convenient liquor store and Tim Horton’s tantalizingly close) amidst lots of beautiful old homes.  Some renovated and spiffy, some not, all incredibly expensive.  The majority are million dollar homes.  For my American readers, please do not envision beautiful, huge estates.  These houses are fairly ordinary.  It’s all about prime real estate here.

I discovered another black person just a block and half away.  An older gentleman coming out on his porch, I waited til I caught his eye and we started to chat.  Turns out he coaches a soccer team that my husband and a former co-worker (from his corrections days) played with years ago.     Small world, eh?  Then later on the return trip, my son’s loud cries attracted his wife (who thought it was her cat) and she came out to say hi.

I tried to do some unpacking, but dealing with the Precious and the dog made that nearly impossible.  After he went to bed, I just puttered around, went to bed and did email and read a bit.  I was just worn out.    By the time DH came home, I was quite jittery.  He caught the early flight, came home, changed, went back to the office, came back home, took the dog, did some errands and by the time he finally returned home, I literally bolted and ran out the door with the promise to bring back Indian food.  I think I was shaking. When I was driving down a side road, I clipped someone’s driver side view mirror with my side view mirror.  I’ve never done that before.  The guy approached his car a few moments later and I actually admitted it and apologized.  He just waved it off.  I guess it happens.

As I waited for our order to be ready, I just sat and breathed in and out trying to look normal.  I was considering not going home for a couple of days.  I just needed a break away from a teething toddler who insisted on careening around a non babyproofed home (he fell continuously trying to maneouvre the raised entrance to the kitchen, hit his head on a corner (not that hard but it scared the crap out of me) pulled things out of boxes, etc.  The dog was wondering what the heck was going on, skittered down the basement stairs,  and wanted in and out several times a day, the forced air heating was either too hot or too cold, the hardwood floors are slightly slanted and creak, the washer wasn’t working, the backyard needed cleaning up, I don’t have a rake, I only have two arms and one of them is cramped because I’m carrying around a cranky baby who won’t let me out of his sight.  I need my hair done.  And a drink.

The waiter asked me if I wanted something to drink, but I just took water.  An hour later, I came home and realized that a lot of people fold in their side view mirrors because the streets are narrow and people park on both sides.  Okay, don’t feel so bad about that boo-boo anymore. My husband is exhausted and stressed out from work yet he’s working ceaselessly trying to put the place to order.  He’s a good man.  I can’t complain because I chanted for this and now I have it.  I just panicked cause I’m out of my comfort zone, out of a comfy, spacious, electrically equipped home and into one that is “as is” quirky and I don’t even own it  and I’m freaking out cause it’s just CHANGE.

10 thoughts on “Freaking out

  1. Oh, my friend! Toddler moving=the worst kind of hell, I think. Add in teething…blah. I think it would be a fitting punishment for all the deposed or soon-to-be-deposed North African dictators.

    And yes, change. I wish it got easier with practice but it just doesn’t, does it?

    Sending you some lovingkindness right this second. xo

  2. When we moved S1 was almost not yet 3 and S2 was 17 months. I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to hide in the attic.

    I hope you know how completely normal you are 🙂

    I am a person that just loves my routine. Sure I can be spontaneous and actually enjoy it, but nothing feels better than that time of day when things are “normal”. You dear, have a new normal. Give yourself a lot of slack to get used to it!

  3. Just think of the sense of accomplishment that you will have when it’s all over! Not to mention the admiration of so many who are in awe that you moved with a toddler.

  4. Moving is the suckiest of undertakings. There is NOTHING good or fun about it. The last time we moved I vomited throughout the move from the stress. OH and wait, Teething also SUCKS! Poor you. Dunbar is totally sleepy but awesome location. My friend calls it Dunbar Island. Once you’re IN, everything will feel better. Good to hear there’s some colour in your new neighbourhood!

    • Thanks for the comment – I had no idea I’d go so nuts – it’s not like it’s the first time I’ve moved, but being trapped inside with a miserable toddler had me on the edge! Things are much better now for all of us.

  5. I hate moving with our cats (we haven’t moved with the dog yet), and my husband is awesome about packing and cleaning so I cannot even begin to imagine moving with a teething toddler. Bless you!

  6. I stumbled upon your blog via a comment on link on another and have nust spent most of my work day reading back – oops! I’ve enjoyed spending time in the head of someone funny and spiritual but still real. 🙂

    I hope the move settles down so you can have your normal crazy rather than the frenzied move crazy. Move crazy is evil for everyone!

  7. I have never been so exhausted as I was for the first 7-10 days after this move. moving with a toddler sucks. glad you like the new hood! sounds wonderful, aside from the stress part.

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