Blooming

DH is away on business, 6 days and though he’s managed to shave a couple days off, it feels like a long one.  Of course, he hasn’t slept a night all the way through since DH left.  The Precious is teething and he’s been waking up crying and miserable and going to bed crying and miserable.   Of course, as I dramatically recount this early morning screaming where I’m chanting for the strength  to holding his flailing body and not throw my back out; so I have to put him down and listen to the world is coming to an end screeching so I can get the Advil and bottle prepared.   Of course, 3 hours later, he is his usually sunny self.  No grudges held.

Hubby is  quick to point out that he hasn’t had such a bad time of it since he was 6 months old.  And that I need to get tougher on him and not let him walk all over me.  Cause he doesn’t ever have those kind of days with him.

Ahem.  Thanks for that.  What on earth am I “complaining” about?  I guess I should just say how perfect my halcyon days are with him.  How easy and full of shits & giggles our days are.  Well, score one for the kid on the divide and conquer method.

Well, he asked how my day was, I told him.

I just wanted to vent a little.  Get a little sympathy. Pat on the back for hanging in there. Doing a good job, you know?   Be heard and acknowledged for my work day.  Instead I got, oh, poor little guy, but you know, he doesn’t had days like that very often compared to other kids, it’s nothing really. Nothing.

True, the little guy is spectacularly healthy and delightful.  A dream to take to a restaurant or a friend’s house.  I should be able to handle this. This is not difficult.  You must be doing something wrong.  He didn’t say any of this, but it’s what I heard. I changed the subject and got off the phone. Am I being oversensitive?

A few weeks ago, I told hubby I was lonely.  He just told me that I should…..blah, blah, blah.  He missed the point.  I’ve been more direct since.  I hope he was paying attention.

There are spectacular cherry blossoms in the neighbourhood, I can’t help but notice how beautiful they are.

 

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8 thoughts on “Blooming

  1. Just because you don’t have the worst child in the world doesn’t mean that when things are bad you can’t grumble.

    But I’m glad you’re able to notice the cherry blossoms, which are so beautiful and a sign that spring is setting in. I long for spring – the warmer weather, the longer hours of daylight, and knowing the long dark nights of winter are behind you.

  2. Its tough being a mom period. You have all the right in the world to look for sympathy.

    Sorry I havent commented lately. I was away and unwell.

  3. Oh man, that sounds like a conversation I had recently with DH. I needed the vent just to get it off my chest and his reply was “well what the eff do you want me to do about it. I’m busy, blah blah blah”
    My reply was riddled with cuss words.

    I love the blossoms. I hate the hay fever. What can ya do??

  4. Sigh. Things changed for Manny and I a while back when I told him that when I share my sadness or anger or upset with him, I DO NOT want him to give me advice or tell me how it could be worse or try to fix it or whatever. I just wanted him to listen and sympathize.

    It helped. Not perfect, but it helped. It seems like nothing short of handing them a road map sometimes is ever going to change the way we communicate. I get frustrated with that, though – I want him to just respond to me without me having to spell it all out for him…

    Wrangling toddlers is tough work. One theory, which I tend to agree with, is that kids share their “worst” moments with those to whom they feel the closest, and most of the time, that is the mother. They can hold it together around other people, but they know that it’s ok to freak out around us, so that’s what they do. Also, at least in my house – Manny doesn’t do much of the grunt work of child-rearing, and he mostly spends his time with C doing stuff that is fun for both of them. Not much in the way of trying to race through grocery shopping in time for nap time when they are both hungry, etc.

    I’m swooning with envy over the cherry blossoms. I hope there are still some left when I get to the island…tomorrow!

    • Wow, I’m not the only one! What a relief! I honestly get so sick of being called “defensive” when I try to explain that I hate spending the entire day being the bad guy and to boot, having to multitask the entire time. I bet ya if he had to do this 5 days a week, he’d be a little “defensive” too!

      And yes, the blossoms await you!

  5. Yeah. Husband told me once on the phone after I was telling him what was going on at home (tantrums, throwing things….and the kids were bad too)..that I was “lucky you don’t have to work”. I started planning his murder right then.

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