Just when I thought it was safe to continue my present grousing and growing. Got a phone call this morning just before I went in to get the Precious ready for the day. I need to go back for another ultrasound and mammogram. That office would be in contact with me. Like I was going to wait for that! How fortunate I am that they want to be so thorough, I’m sure they are just checking to see if the cyst has cleared up, right? I have to be honest, I haven’t paid much attention to my breasts – oh, I used to – but since the arrival of the Precious, my attention has been with him.
I started our day with as much cheer as I could muster, the Precious back to his regular smiling self. I have to admit, tears pooled in my eyes as he chattered away at me. I had taken him to the doctor’s yesterday cause he had a particular rough time of it with teething. He had a touch of diarrhea, poor appetite, more than usual crankiness and clinginess and one morning last week drank several cups of cold water upon waking up. I suspected a fever but of course, I could not get a reliable temperature with all his moving around. Both ear and armpit methods scored a low temp. So I went by the hand on the forehead method and gave him Advil, which worked. The doctor took a throat swab and got an accurate normal temp while he was busy flirting with her. Could have been a bug, could be strep throat, whatever it was, he’s back to normal mischief. I asked if she had received my ultrasound report hoping not to make an unnecessary visit. No, not yet, but she told me that if there was anything to be concerned about, she’d call.
She didn’t call, but her office assistant did. I left a message for her to call me back, but was advised she probably wouldn’t, so that means I’m going back to her office tomorrow. Well, then. I guess it’s back into the unknown again for me. Fuck. Why do these things almost always involve waiting over a weekend?
Of course, I can’t be left with NOTHING to do so I called the mammography centre and made an appointment for both the ultrasound and mammogram next Tuesday. I could have gotten in earlier for another mammo tomorrow but why not get it all done in one day and perhaps live in denial for DH’s birthday on Saturday? Then I made an appointment for a breast thermogram on Friday. Not sure why I did that since it can’t be used for any definitive diagnosis but I read a bunch of stuff and decided it would be better than waiting. I think. I think. And then of course, I scheduled a pedicure, bikini, wax, eyebrow threading and a massage for my back in for good measure. Cause it’s important to be tidy when you have a giant knot in your gut. Yes, I’m going to be dumping a whole lot of money that day, folks. Might even buy some shoes. I talked to DH who is on his way back and asked him to take a day off of work. I really don’t know what else I can do at this point, I’m feeling neglected so I need a day to take care of myself.
I also need to take my mum in to get her hair done (her hair is so bad it’s started to lock) on Saturday and then of course, it’s DH’s birthday and I’m going to give it my best effort. I tried to get a friend to sit the Precious that night, but she has the flu. Swell. I guess we’ll be doing family dining, which will suit DH just fine.
DH says I’m fine, I’m not going anywhere. I wish I felt reassured. I chanted instead. That helped a bit.