So I guess more people are reading my blog than I realized. Looks like my random email writer realized she offended me in some way and was kind enough to email me and apologize. I guess she caught my tone. If the initial email is not personalized, then it’s not likely that I will pay much attention to the writer’s intent and I know that person hasn’t actually read my blog or the street cred for background. After all, IVF did NOT work for me, I ended up adopting after coming to the decision that biology was not that important to me. I’m not bitter about attempting ART, but when you come home from the carnival with empty pockets and no prize, I’m not going to be a huge cheerleader of it. I did watch the video and when I got to the who sponsored it part, I realize some big pharmaceutical company has a vested interest in what first appears to be a grassroots educational initiative. I did notice that fertility awareness is now being targeted to women over 30. Seems like the magic number has dropped from 35 to 30 now. When did that happen? Of course, I’ve read plenty of blogs about women under 35 struggle with infertility so I guess there’s a lot of truth in that. Lord knows I made a lot of assumptions that all was okay despite our withdrawal birth control method we used for years. I remember having the kid conversation with DH when we were not married yet but had been together for years and I made it known that I wanted kids and if he didn’t, then we should part ways. I made the assumption that once we did officially get married and officially started trying to conceive that it would happen one way or the other. And it didn’t. Naive, I know. I had no idea I’d spend tens of thousands of dollars for nothing. C’est la vie.
There are no guarantees in life whether it’s about having children or the health of our children. Now, I can’t even imagine being without my little guy. So if the road to him was paved with disappointment and heartache, so be it. I cannot undo the past.
Speaking of emails, I actually did get one quite a while ago, not sure if I mentioned it already, but it was from someone who never left comments but she wanted to me to know that I had really given her some comfort. She wanted me to thank me. I was so touched by that email. Sometimes people just want to let you know that yeah, they get it, they get you and they appreciate you sharing your experience. To turn poison into medicine, to create value where once there was despair. That’s why I blog. I am a real person with real feelings living a very real life. So if you want to come into my house, you gotta take off your shoes.