Summer days

Summer has finally arrived and by that I mean decent summer weather.  Corona with lime weather.  BBQs and sitting on the deck weather.  Of course, we only have two more weeks of summer left, but what the hey.  We have managed to miss just about every free city festival.  Ah, toddler life, where nap schedules trump all.

We live about 30 driving and parking minutes from “the island” to downtown, so whenever we consider going down there to catch a bit of whatever is going on in the park, we have to factor in drive time there and back, so by the time we are all breakfasted, showered, packed up and ready to go, we figure we can go for about an hour and then have to leave.  And a lot of parades start at 11 or noon and he has to get back to have lunch or have a decent nap and then he wakes up slowly after nap time, he wants a snack and before you know it, it’s time to start thinking about what’s for dinner.    Time has to be built in for the amount of time the Precious refuses to leave his crib or get dressed.  I have spent more than a few minutes chasing him around with various articles of clothing (much to his delight) or trying to figure out which tone of voice will get him to take me seriously.  By the time we get going and get the grocery shopping done,  and grab a coffee, it’s time to get home for lunch or time to get back for naptime or whatever.  So at times, it’s easier to stick close to home and just go to the nearby water park or playground or hang out in the backyard.

We have had many discussions on how to get around this.  If the Precious grabs a quick nap in the car, then he won’t sleep for the rest of the afternoon resulting in a cranky ass kid by dinnertime.  If DH is driving, then it’s up to me to entertain the King to keep him awake.  If it’s just me, then I’m sunk cause I can’t drive and tickle him at the same time.  So now we’re talking about going somewhere further afield and letting him nap on the way there( 1hr min) or on the way back at the end of the day.  Not sure how that it going to work out, but I’ll let you know.

These days DH is around a lot more.  He has resigned from his job and his moving on to a new one in the fall.  The stress leading up to this was incredible and put a real strain on our relationship.  The Precious was getting all our love and attention, but we didn’t have any energy left over for each other.  We’re making the effort to become reacquainted with one another as more than just a parent.  I’m definitely the one who feels neglected.  I’ve often felt that even the dog’s needs came before mine.  A benefit of having him around is that he’s finally figuring out on his own that the Precious, adorable little boy that he is, isn’t ALWAYS a delight to be around.  He’s now understanding how restrictive life with a toddler can be.  He’s always been critical that I’m not a get up and go type of person.  I’m a don’t bother me til I’ve had half a cup of coffee person.  Now he realizes that the kid has  to be attended to, breakfast has to made, cleaned up, then there’s the matter of getting the dog out and the beginning of the endless errands to be attended to.  Oh, and then there’s snack time, lunch time, laundry time, nap time, emails to get to, phone calls to make, house to be cleaned, etc.  Things don’t always go smoothly and like clockwork.  I honestly thinks he believed I sat around all day long on my fat ass and ate bon bons.  Like I should not sit down or take a shower or pick my nose if I feel like it.  The very first day he stayed home he was like oh, we’re doing this today and it’s going  to be like this and how come I don’t do blah, blah, blah.   I let him know that I didn’t go to his work place and tell him how to do his job, so why was he acting like he could do it in mine. No, way, mister, in this workplace, we have coffee before we talk to the kid.

Oddly enough, our days have been very similar.  We’re pooped by the time the kid goes down for the night and toys are strewn everywhere.  He’s pitching in doing laundry and cleaning up and walking the dog and picking up the dry cleaning.   Now he’s knows that when I am with the Precious, not much else can actually get done.  I can’t even vaccum without him running around standing in front of the vacuum trying to grab the cord or turn off the switch.  And just because he takes a nap, doesn’t mean I want to jam in all my chores when I can sit down and eat a decent meal.  One of DH’s biggest complaints was that I never went out with them walking in late afternoon.  So I started going.  I was tired, but I went.  And guess what, dinner never got cooked.  So I end up throwing something fast just for the kid.  He found out that the Precious takes a long time to eat and sometimes he doesn’t want to eat what’s before him.  He’s figured out that meal times will be a unpleasant for everyone if he insists of making him eat what he doesn’t want to eat.  Believe or not now he negotiates with the kid to make him eat.  Would you like to ketchup with that?  Sweet chili sauce?  How about eat this mouthful and I’ll give you a french fry.  It works.  Honestly, I always found meal times a bit frustrating because the Precious seems to be a picky vegetarian.  I’ve tried every possibly way to sneak meat into his meals, but it rarely works.  He likes black beans, but does not like chick peas.  He loves peas, he hates cucumber.  At least for today he does.  One day he likes salmon, the next he won’t eat it.  What he loves one day, he hates the next.  Sometimes he eats heartily, sometimes he doesn’t.  I make an organic meal creation from scratch and he rejects it in favour of the institutionalized food my mother eats in the home. I’ve had it and it’s horrible and what appears to be a banana cream custard doesn’t even remotely taste like banana.

Needless to say, he’s liking the sitter more and more.

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4 thoughts on “Summer days

  1. I got tired just reading all of this. But I had to chuckle, reading about your dh’s ambitious schedule for the day, & then reality….! Guess he is singing a different tune these days, hmmm? But glad he is able to help you out more while he transitions to his new job.

  2. ah, they are so fickle. kids, that is. you never quite know what they’ll want to eat and whether they’ll still like it tomorrow.

    the nap thing too is so hard. I used to laugh at others who were so rigid about napping. but I get it. it’s critical. it definitely interferes with a lot. J would do the same thing too, if she fell asleep 5 mins in the car, that was it. not good.

    and yes, it’s so hard to get anything else done while you’re caring for them. I have a hard time even making dinner. on the days I’m supposed to be working from home while she is napping, I can’t do anything else. no laundry, no cleaning, not anything. having a sitter come is critical for getting any real work done. but I sure as hell am not going to pay a sitter so I can clean. thankfully M does laundry on the 2 days he’s home with her. and makes us dinner. the other days, it’s all me all the time. and exhausting.

  3. Two things I HATE: Mealtime and naptime. These middle of the day naps are a day killer! Mind you we’ve gotten better at planning the early morning excursion and are will sometimes plan to leave on a long drive just around naptime – that does seem to work for the most part. LOVE that you’re co-parenting this summer. I say leave Precious with your Huzz and eat bon bons on the beach! Being facetious there – Mark and I have been co-parents all summer and I think it’s great for Theo and all of us.

  4. Middle of the day naps do suck!

    Glad your husband is moving on to a place he may be happier- and hopefully your reacquaintence goes very well 🙂

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