Good news – I finally booked a gig! No, not the lead I really, really wanted, but the tiny role. The kind designed to keep my big ego in check. Haha. Well, I’m back on set – that’s all that counts. There are no small roles, only small actors, right? Bad news – my back is killing me. So I feel miserable, but going to the chiro tomorrow.
Our annual general women’s meeting went wonderfully on Sunday. I had two guests. I shared my experience of surviving infertility and my journey through adoption. Funny, just how talking bout the past can bring the emotions back again. I spoke only from my perspective being careful not to dwell too much on my thoughts about the Precious’ birthmother or adoption in general. It was from the Buddhist perspective, finding my way through compassion and connection and faith. The Lotus Sutra promises its practitioners that all prayers will be answered and I remember a time when it certainly seemed my prayers were not being answered and it certainly seemed personal. ( Of course, I think everything is about me anyway.) I certainly don’t think I was a shining example of Buddhahood during that time, but I had a lot of daimoku and irl friends keeping me afloat. For this, I am eternally grateful to you all. For being lights in the darkness.
I was kind of hoping that some woman would tell me that they had gone through the same thing, but that didn’t happen. I do know of one woman in particular who certainly did understand what I had been through because she had gone through it as well. Of course, that’s her story to tell (or not), not mine. But sharing your experience can certainly help someone else and it can serve as a reminder to yourself of how far you’ve come.