I used to be such a newshound, reading the paper every day, watching news, CBC, CNN, etc, but these days I get it secondhand. Hubby comes home and asks me, hey did you hear about…..? I had no idea that part of the Eastern US was going through a heatwave and power outtages. I was too concerned about the cold and wet weather we were having here. DH has been a little crabby lately and has been talking about the how Vancouver isn’t what is used to be and if we were only going to have crappy weather year round, we might as well move.
To where, I can’t imagine. We’re not going to move provinces, he’s just missing the good life he thought he’d have by now. His old friend and teenage son came to town for the weekend. Driving a fancy Audi sportscar. What is it about men and sportscars, eh? Getting one of those is like saying: “I’ve arrived, life is sweet and I’m enjoying the fruits of my labour”. Personally, I’d prefer gourmet meals delivered to my door. And a cleaning service. I swear this week I thought I’d go nuts if I had to clean up or cook a meal again. I know nothing would make him happier to have the ability to pick up every meal tab and host his childhood buddy in his own custom crafted home. I also know he realizes his friend has had his nose to the grindstone for 25 years at 60 + hours a week. They sacrificed for years. There’s no logic to comparing himself to him but sometimes I do the same thing.
It did make me think of what life might have been like if we had not experienced infertility. Of course, just about everything does in one way or another. Back in my 20s, I used to wonder idly what my life would have been life had I been born white. Would I have had better luck with men? Would I have had better jobs? A better life? Yep, wasted brain matter thinking about that. And now in my 40s, I get to think would I have had a down payment for a house by now? My kid would be in school right now and I’d be heading to the day spa after walking the dog. If the market hadn’t crashed after my husband found his dream job, I’d be typing on a beautiful Apple or Sony Vaio instead of a noisy as hell on its last legs Toshiba with no battery life. I’d be driving a BMW Z5 and hubby would have his sportscar waiting to be detailed in the garage of our West side home.
So what? More pointless wondering. But that’s what happens when it rains too much here.