Slice of life in the fall

I still think about my old dog, Sampson.  He was a very large, quiet, black Lab with a white patch on his chest.  He had those soulful brown eyes that made him seem like an old sage reborn even though he was as dumb as a sack of  hammers.  He wasn’t the type of dog who tried to figure out how to get the bone from underneath the couch, he just waited til you got it for him.  We used to walk through Stanley Park (slowly cause he was a senior by the time we moved downtown) and often we would walk by the Aquarium when bus loads of school kids would empty out on the sidewalk eager to see whales.

I hated that when it happened. It just reminded me of what I didn’t have.  Then Samps and I would walk a short trail, he’d chase a few squirrels and we’d go back home.  During the last few months of his life, we’d just walk a short bit, then rest at a park bench and just take the world in.  I’d remind myself of what I did have.   I worked very hard on those walks I’d call ” gratitude” walks.  Anyway, I’m just going down this road cause it’s fall, the school year has started and the streets are full of kids on their way to school in the mornings and on their way home late afternoon and I remember how it used to make me feel.

It’s surreal to be at this point in my life, a woman my age with a toddler at his first day of preschool.  It’s like a crazy miracle.  Well, maybe miracle is not the most accurate word.  There was  no supernatural element to any of it.  There’s just this little boy trying to make his way in the world twice a week for a couple of hours.  And me just trying to get to the gym and have a cup of coffee in peace.  Crazy.

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5 thoughts on “Slice of life in the fall

  1. it IS crazy. sometimes I almost don’t recognize myself when I drop of J at preschool 3 ams/wk, with a baby on my hip. who is this person? and where did these little people come from? and I STILL feel strange around the other moms, especially the pregnant ones or those with really little ones. like even though I now have everything I wanted with my babes, my life — and how I got here — seems SO far removed from these other people. needless to say, I’ve made no new friends yet. sigh.

    and while I never met him, I miss old Sampson too. I miss our old girl who’s been gone 5+ years already. every time we talk about getting a pup, it gets pushed back a while longer…

  2. It is crazy isn’t it…and so surreal. I remember dh and I spending a couple of summers before we got Sofie saying “we’re going to go here and here and here and here when we have a child” and now we go to all those places and more with Sofie. I still have to pinch myself.
    You know my husband remembered a story about Sampson that I had read on your blog and recounted to him. He mentioned it the other day. Rest in peace Sampson!

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