Remember when summer meant just relaxing and doing fun things? Yep, that was when you were a kid and your parents had to work to pay for everything. I could say I was bored and ride my bike with my friends out to some far off convenience store to enjoy an grape Lola. In a valiant effort to cherish my vacation memories instead of thinking about all the things I have to get done in the next little while, I’ve been trying to stay as relaxed as I was when I lay on a lounger after my massage and watched hubby and kid in the ocean and just exhaled. Okay, that’s not working.
I presently have 12 hours of transcribing to do, with more to follow, out of town friends to see, arrange a play reading though I haven’t had time to get to the downtown library to get the play and can’t even get it in this neighbourhood, the person who was hosting has cancelled, did I mention I haven’t READ the play, cast it, and then I have a Buddhist meeting tonight (can’t skip this one, I have to lead a song!) and no I haven’t seen my mum yet, I have a callback this morning, play date in the afternoon (did I mention I don’t really KNOW the song that well), I inadvertently offended a fellow Buddhist and tried to call her so I can speak to her but she hasn’t called me back, and I have another friend who thinks I’ve been trying to avoid her for 2 yrs even though she ONLY contacts me via Facebook which is a horrible way to get a hold of me much less make arrangements to visit (pick up the damn phone!). This is just life, really, not problems, but seriously, I REFUSE to have a meaningful conversation via email, Facebook or text unless you are OUT OF TOWN or DIFFERENT TIME ZONE. I love making connections, walking, having coffee with people but when you are a stay at home mum, and your friends have demanding full time jobs and I have my child during the day, you don’t get to talk very often and at night, I rarely talk with anyone (cause I’m too tired or I’m working) and last time I looked I was in charge of cleaning, laundry, childcare, walking the dog, grocery shopping and cooking most meals. I’d like to add getting your preschooler to eat anything other than snacks as one of the biggest time sucks in history. Maybe I should hold a party and then you can’t really talk to any one person for long because you are busy entertaining. So if anyone has any suggestions on how I might handle this better, please let me know. And no, hubby does not want to hang out with her spouse.
I actually like being busy, but I hate the thought of letting people down, dropping one of the juggling balls in the air. Nam myo ho renge kyo, breathing in the capacity to sail through this when all I want to do is go back to the beach.