Midnight

I need to go to bed.  I have a very busy day tomorrow.  Another callback and and other audition.  And yes, I’m running to the first one while Boo is in pre-school then rushing back and hoping to catch the sitter to drop him off after school so I can go to the other one (or else he can go to hubby’s office or I’ll take him – he’s old enough to behave, right?  Right?).  I’m trying to be calm and all cool despite all these callbacks and no bookings.

I mentioned once on Stirrup Queen’s blog how much I hated going to bed.  Hubby thinks it’s ridiculous, but seriously, I hate going to bed.  Unless I’m terribly exhausted, angry or sick.  Otherwise, I hate going to bed.  I’ve been that way since I was a kid.  I used to stay up late listening to the radio on retro Saturdays and they played episodes from the The Shadow.  And I also used to drag my Brother typewriter into bed and type stories underneath the covers with a flashlight.  My mum would push open the door and tell me to go to bed.  I’ve taken Nyquil, Advil, wine- all in poor efforts to slide me willingly into sleep.  Nyquil, bless its syrupy nasty soul is only good when you’re down with a nasty cold and you can only take it for a few nights anyway.  Advil, well, that is not good for your liver and I save it for when I’m premenstrual or in serious discomfort.  Wine, well, that just ruins my sleep quality even if I have just half a glass.  I’ve tried melatonin, nope, doesn’t work for me. Sleep-eze pills, horrible hangover feeling, this must be for people who sleep like 9 hours a night. Best method of course is exercise which I have not done in so long and I miss it.  But my back woes have conveniently gotten in the way.

To be frank, it’s not that I don’t fall asleep easily, I just hate going to bed.  It’s like…. here’s all this quiet, this peace, this exquisite aloneness and I’m GOING TO SLEEP.  What a waste!  I’d clean the house if I wasn’t so darned noisy.  I’m truly a night owl, but the life I am so fortunate to have demands a more typical schedule. I can’t just get up whenever I want (which is what I grew up believing adulthood would be like – THEY LIED!!!!) so it’s necessary for me to pack it in and call it a day so I can function when I get up.  And you know what, when I wake up, I’m a beast til I get my coffee.  My Boo just wakes up (usually in our bed these days) and thrashes around til you get up.  And he goes from 0 – 100mph in like 5 seconds. Mummy!  Milk!!!!  I live for the day he can make me coffee. I’ll be 80 right? Well, I’m going to bed now.

But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.  Any suggestions?  I know, I know, shut off my damn computer, phone, TV.  Then what I am supposed to do?  Pick up knitting?  Sensational book?  What?????!!

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One thought on “Midnight

  1. I feel exactly the same way. I know I need to sleep, since I’m so bloody exhausted all the time, but going to bed seems like such a waste when I could be enjoying some ‘me’ time- something that no woman seems to get enough of. Great post!

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