Archive | December 2013

The Day After

Christmas is one week away, and surprisingly I’m feeling pretty good.  Physically, that’s another question, but let’s stick with the good stuff.  I feel like a working actor, which is pretty darn good.

Okay, I won’t tease you with making you guess, the show that I was on is A.lmost Human.  Now, there’s no guarantee my face will actually make it onscreen of course, I know I didn’t get a closeup, but the way it was shot was a little different than I’m used to.  It’s the last episode of the season I think about a serial killer.  I have nothing to do with that, my character interviews the lead guy, the android and the captain.  We were on set for hours and I had to ask for orange juice to be brought to me cause my blood sugars were diving.  It was a lot of fun, though.  I ended up knowing a lot of people there so there were lots of hugs and kisses for me.  One of the guys who plays one of the regular MX’s was in a workshop with me years ago (when my career was more active) and it was great to see him.  And then a background performer who had actually did a stunt for me (bungee jumping off a bridge) was there.  It was like old home week.  I was just thrilled to be working on such a professional, well run set.  The crew were amazing, the director was fantastic, and being around enthusiastic actors just lifted my heart and attitude.  Sometimes it’s hard for me to just relax, be in the moment and enjoy myself because I’m so bitter I don’t get to work as often as I would like.  That day, I could remember what it was like to be connected with my colleagues just enjoying what we do and having a laugh.  I miss that feeling, that camaraderie of being involved in a creative project together.  Even getting my makeup and hair done, people running over to fuss of my lipstick, my hair before the cameras roll.  That just for one day, it was all about me and what I do.  And that was okay. It made the day after shooting so much better.  I was relaxed and reminded of what I could do.  Not worried about how much or what food my kid will eat, the state of the house, the laundry, the dog, the bank account, my dog hair covered Lululemon’s, but just me, the actor.  And soon, I get to do it again.


The Day Before

The day before I worked on set was not a great mummy day. Epic fail.

Boo was up super early with DH, but I stayed in bed.  So I knew he was going to be tired and cranky but he seemed fine when I took him to my wardrobe call.  That went well. Funny how wearing an expensive designer suit can make me giddy.  Then because we were so close to a Costco and it was still early, I figured I’d go there and pick up some corporate gifts for my clients.  As I looked up the directions on my phone  to get there, Boo started having a meltdown, screaming he wanted to go home.  That daddy said we had to walk the dog.  Then he had a strange little rant, “I know you yell at me, I know I won’t be playing with any of my friends, I know you hurt my feelings, I know ….” and proceeded to fill in some random facts that were completely unrelated to each other.  I sucked in my breath.  Well, I had tried calling a friend to set up a play date for the afternoon but he was busy, Option #2 playdate didn’t work out so well the last time.   I certainly wasn’t going to call the sitter at the last minute and drive him all the way back to the North Shore so I could go to Costco.  We still had to walk the dog at some point.  But the ” I know you yell at me” part.  It hurt.  Yes, it’s true.  I do yell at him.  Sometimes.  And he has heard me say to others, that I do indeed yell at him because it works.  Not in the WHAT THE BLEEP ARE YOU DOING? way, but after many repeated polite requests are ignored (Darling precious one, can you put on your boots now so we can go?  Sweetheart?  Sweetheart?! )  and I then raise my voice in an deliberate effort to get his attention because I know he doesn’t like it. I even warn him  that I’m about to start yelling.  I use the counting 1, 2, 3 method.   I hadn’t even yelled at him that morning. 

I have to admit, I almost cried.  Then I realized he just didn’t want to go to Costco.  He was tired.  I explained to him that I was sorry for hurting his feelings, but sometimes we had things to get done during the day that Mama wanted to do, that we weren’t going to stay long and then we’d do something else.  So I drove there, drove around a packed parking lot a few times before giving up and going home.  Boo fell asleep in the car for about 10 minutes.   I made him a big breakfast when we got home and his mood improved.  He seemed content to just stay home with me. 

Me?  I was miserable.  It started to rain, it was cold and I felt trapped.  Hubby wasn’t coming home til late cause he was at his office Christmas party.   I felt defeated.  Angry cause I knew I’d be working on Friday, then the weekend would come and there was no way we were going to do a Costco on a Saturday, we’d have other things to do and then Monday would come and I’d have to choose between rushing while Boo was in preschool to get there and back and then I’d have to go to work without the corporate gift basket.  Let’s face it, it’s not really about going to Costco cause I could go anywhere to get a gift basket.  I just wanted to go there because I hadn’t been in several months and I just wanted to go so I could browse. For the hell of it.   I just wanted to do what I wanted to do.  Who’s the pre-schooler now?

Guilty.  Bad mama.  I couldn’t even run an errand cause I was tired of negotiating with a 4 year old.  Cause that would have led to raising my voice, right?  And I was bloated and my breasts hurt on top of it all.  My skin is crawling.  That lovely PMS feeling that makes me feel like I’m caged tiger.  Obviously not feeling on top of my game that I let my 4 year old son psych me out.  There was no one to call.  I did consider calling the sitter cause I thought I was going to go nuts.  (Hi, can you take my kid for an hour, I just want to go to Starbucks and have a coffee and read a newspaper) I don’t, cause I’d have to explain it to hubby.   I surrendered and then we ended up watching the Hulk and Ironman on my laptop in bed.  We had popcorn.  It was cool.  I was just going to say yes to every reasonable demand.  I put on my acting hat and pretended to be patient and sweet.  We ended up walking  the dog in the dark down the streets and looked at people’s Christmas lights. That was actually nice.  He sings a song announcing me his best friend and we hold hands.  I would have walked some more but there was dinner to consider.  I even told Boo that if he could leave his boots and coat on while I fed the dog we would go out for dinner.   He insisted on removing them even though I repeatedly and quietly said that if he did, we were not going to go out for dinner.  Idiot me.  See, I told you I wasn’t on my game.  It was me that wanted to go out for dinner.  Not him.  He could care less.  His cousins were in lockdown due to chicken pox so dinner with mummy alone is no fun.  There are days when my kid just wants to stay home and those are the precise days I long for another adult to talk to.  I knew I had made a tactical blunder and so quietly I surrendered (well, I pouted a bit) and made pasta with a homemade aflredo sauce.  With shrimps.  I tried to remain in the moment of sauteeing scallions and garlic and concentrate on making a sauce that didn’t taste like glue.  And then he tried to drag his play tent  inside the kitchen and torment the dog  while I was cooking.  A no-no in our home. Playing in the kitchen that is, not tormenting the dog.  Our stove is located directly next to the entrance from the dining area.  Ridiculous, but true.   Hot pans, a whirling mama and rambunctious 4 year olds do not mix.  He knows this but he had to be told firmly and repeatedly.  By now, I’ve poured a glass of wine that is slightly off but beggars can’t be choosy.  I end up feeding him dinner cause now of course he doesn’t want to eat it.

He really just wants me to feed him and by the time he’s had a bath, a few games of Angry Birds and bedtime routine has started,  he’s all acquiescent and calm and I read him his bedtime stories and he’s as sweet as can be.  I’m good mama again.  All his requests were met, even the ones for extra cookies.  We cuddle up on his Spiderman foldout bed, well, half of me is on the floor. I read his superhero stories.  I love him like crazy.

The next day I jumped out of bed and got Boo ready for school, got him dressed, made him breakfast, got his snack ready, even though Hubby was home.  I went to work on set.  I was so fucking happy. 

Working actor

Just a quick one to let you know that I actually booked a gig off of tape.  That has NEVER happened to me before.  EVER! No callback, no director session, no drama about being on a shortlist.   I went in for an audition on Tuesday, was perfectly blase about it, even wore my glasses, had my sides (script) in my hand and did one take and pretty much walked out.   Even the casting director apologized for calling me in for a no liner part the previous week.  I had gone because let’s face it,  Christmas was coming.  She said that had never occurred to her.  Ahem, woman, yes actors actually get desperate, suck up their pride and go in for stuff they wouldn’t normally go in for because they need to pay a bill or buy their kid something nice for Christmas. I chatted with some acting colleagues of mine outside about the vagaries of this business and had a laugh. Next day my agent called me and said I booked.  I’m like what?  What?!!!  Then I had a wardrobe call yesterday (oh to wear designer clothes that they actually will tailor for me, oh, bliss) and I’m on set today!  And here’s the kicker – it’s network TV!!!!  Which means I am actually going to be making BIG MONEY!  As in the kind of money I used to earn back in the day when this city was flooded with work.  Mind you, it’s just one day, I won’t be wearing Manolo’s anytime soon, but  I’m THRILLED!  And if you still watch this particular network TV, and I don’t get cut out, you will actually get to see me. 

Now, if you only knew what high profile TV show was….I’ll tell you once I get through the day…..

Silly time and a Sunshine award

Thank you, Geochick for this prestigious award.  If you believe in rules, the rules are: 1) include this icon in your post; 2) link to the blogger who nominated you; 3) answer 10 questions about yourself; 4) nominate 10 other bloggers to answer 10 new questions; 5) tell the people that they’ve won.  I don’t believe in rulesI didn’t make up, so I won’t nominate 10 other bloggers –  award yourself, and  if you’d like to answer questions, here they are:

1.  What’s the last thing you ate and why?

2. Cat or dog person?

3. Your favourite wine or non -alcoholic beverage?

4. Money being no object, how would you spend your day?

5. Favourite pedicure/manicure colour?

6. A type of shoes you’d rather cut off your feet than wear?

7. What do you wear to bed?

8. If you could be someone else for a weekend, who would you be?

9. Would you move to Europe for love?

10. Would you adopt a child from a distant relative?

My questions from Geochick:

1. Why are you awake now?

Time to start the day, have some coffee, make some breakfast, get kid to school, etc.

2. Cake or Pie?

Most definitely cake.  Horrors: white birthday cake with icing – yes, definitely a blood sugar busting treat that I haven’t had in quite some time, but a girl can dream!  Favourites:  tiramisu, vanilla with icing (see previous horror), red velvet, strawberry shortcake, chocolate lava cake.

3. Do you like romantic comedies, action, horror or dramas?

Mmm, depends on my mood.  Usually, I always go for action.
4. What’s the weather like today?

Cold.  It’s 2 degrees Celsius at the moment. Overcast.
5. Do you like your job?

Well, that depends on which job you’re talking about.  My SAHM job? My typing job? Or my erstwhile acting job whenever that occurs?  Yes sort of depending on the day, no, and yes.
6. If money were no object, where would you live?

Oh man, since I’m a Gemini, I can pick 2 places.  I would prefer to live on Vancouver’s West side, cause I love the tree-lined streets even though it makes my allergies rage.  And Toronto, cause that’s where most of my family resides and I miss my old friends and old neighbourhoods and the theatre community.
7. Favorite pizza toppings?

The Canadian –  pepperoni, mushrooms and bacon!
8. Have you ever been backpacking?

nope.  I listed that under things that crazy white people do when they’re young.  I was under the are you crazy not my child rules when I was younger.
9. Time travel – yes or no?

Oh yes most definitely.  If only to tell certain people off in a dramatic way!
10. What’s your favorite swear word?  (or exclamation)

“fuck” though I rarely get to use it anymore because of my son’s presence.  I have caught him saying “dammit” though.  Ooops.

Mama’s day out

The drive to Whistler was amazing.  The view was stunning, it was sunny and cold and dry.  And somehow no traffic!  I had a fantastic time in Whistler.  It was freezing!  Minus 8, I believe.  Not used to that kind of cold, but I was wearing my slammin’ Sorels and my winter coat.   No, we didn’t see any movies. Yes, we drank a little.  Well, okay a lot.  And boy did we talk!  Eventually we made it to a film festival, in high heels and fancy dress only to find out that everybody else ignored the format attire part.  Figures, typical West Coasters.  The party was jammed pack and loud and sadly we just wanted to go back to our hotel room and lay down. I think the day’s tally ended up like 6 Cosmos, a bottle of red wine, 6 Moscow Mules and a nightcap of champagne and wine (well, half a glass cause someone managed to knock it over…like I said it was packed! And one sore toe from my friend stepping on my foot with her spiked heel – OWWW.) We’re old ladies now who dream of a comfy quiet bed, so we left.  And enjoyed a glorious sleep in.  I got up at 9:20 I believe, made a coffee and climbed back into bed til 10.  Then we called for a late check out and lay about and chatted some more.

I called hubby and found out that they DIDN’T go the island as promised, apparently the in-laws were having some “issues” so I would be returning to my job when I got home.  I think I wept a little.  Eventually we went for breakfast with Bailey’s and hot chocolate determined to drag out our furlough.  I splurged at L’Occitane and bought one shea butter hand creme and girlfriend ended up making the salesgirl’s quota I think.  Then off to Starbucks to pick up a hot drink for the road.  We ran into fellow actors with a new babe (awwww), I smashed a mug with my giant purse (in my defense, it was jammed with a stroller and kitted out skiers and the display was ill-placed), but I made it out without paying for it.  It was a very expensive weekend, of course, so I think that was my Christmas gift.

Still, as we watched the sun set as we drove home, I realized how grateful I was for our little getaway, our friendship, our connection.

Then I came home to a dark house.  The boys were hiding in the play tent – surprise! Welcome, home, honey and then hubby announced he was off to Bowen Island to see his buddy and poof!  he was gone. Barely made it through 24 hours, eh, hon?


Haha, my wish to be alone for 24 hours is about to come true!  Thanks to my MIL for aiding and abetting me.  But first I am going to the Whistler Film Festival for 24 hours with my BFF to drink  see some films.  While she is networking (she’s a producer) and dragging me with her while people ignore me (this is show business, after all), I’m probably going to try and not look too awkward and find someone to talk to and have a drink. Not too many, of course, as I loathe to feel nauseous and waste time feeling like crap.  I will also endeavour to wear high heels and not put my back out.  Then will we come home tomorrow and hubby and Boo will be on the island visiting sweet mother in law and I shall be blessedly alone.  I have finished a major portion of a transcribing job, so I can afford to take some time off before completing the remainder for next week.  I will most likely clean the house and sort stuff and enjoy things staying in place.  Or do nothing.  See ya later!  Squeeeee!