I’ve been meaning to write this for a while, but my mind has been on other things lately, namely my friend’s stepson. Luckily, there’s been some incredible news there.
I landed a supporting lead in a movie. Now, now before you get all excited, it’s not that big a deal. Well, it is — to me. It’s for a H.allmark TV movie and I play a nanny in a community where there’s been a recent spate of robberies and a dashing and handsome detective goes undercover and meets the charming and beautiful lead nanny and together they solve the case. The good news is that I got 6, count ’em 6 days on it and puts me in the category of breadwinner this month! The not so good news is that the money was not that great, no front credit and I also got stuck in a crappy trailer. The even better news is that I didn’t get too crazy over that and have been having a wonderful time with a terrific cast and crew! They are amazing! My last day is tomorrow and I’m going to be very, very sad to say goodbye.
I managed to keep my insecurities in check (we had a little tussle and some bitching slipped out but Buddhahood prevailed) and allowed myself to enjoy this time. I prepared my big scene with a friend so I could be cool, calm and collected (and it’s been stinking hot here) and felt connected and in the moment when I needed to be. I had been feeling ignored, unappreciated and undervalued in my home life, but when I am at work, I feel so different. And I don’t mean because people are kissing my ass either. The costume designer, hallelujah, has managed to find me some clothes that I can actually feel good and look good in. When you’re not a size 2, it’s amazing what uninspired tents they can find for a fuller figured woman. This woman found me some super cute, colourful outfits(though not my personal style of dog hair covered Lulelemon), I would actually dare to wear outside. I have amazingly talented hair and makeup people. They are experts at what they are doing and I feel calm and serene. I feel pretty. Pampered. We’re talking about all sorts of things and I thank them profusely for their efforts. On the day of my big scene, one of the ADs gives me a bigger, nicer trailer, and I thanked him cause it made me feel great to just have a door to my toilet. I had a chair and a table to eat lunch with and I didn’t feel penned in and “small” for once. I don’t actually spend much time in trailers anyway, but it’s a nice perk in lieu of a bigger paycheque. I remind myself that it’s about my work and not the place where I get dressed that matters.
It’s been a bit crazy trying to juggle Boo with sitters and hubby take time off work and the in-laws were supposed to come and help and then they didn’t. Arghh! In the midst of all this, our SUV breaks down. It wouldn’t start and then I called roadside assistance only to discover it was an alternator issue and had to tow it to the mechanics. And with it being a Ford engine, replacing the alternator was really expensive and intensive. Then we found out even more was wrong with it. Our mechanic actually advised us not to bother pouring more money into it. Hubby and I finally decide to let it go. It’s presently sitting out back awaiting its fate. DH had been using a friend’s vehicle on the weekends and now I had to drive it to set the next day. I have never driven a pickup in my life. In fact, I’ve only sat in this truck once. Can you picture me driving a black F150 Harley Davidson? Yeah, I couldn’t either until I did. I’ve yet to try to parallel park it. Or get it in and out of underground parking. Grocery shopping should be interesting. With hubby’s job winding down, buying a car tomorrow is not in the picture and I can’t even buy a reliable vehicle with what I’m going to make this month.
Hubby was getting all discouraged and miserable about how we seem to take one step ahead and then get knocked back two. I went for a long walk with the dog just to clear my head and realized that we could not afford to get all down and miserable and turn on each other. Life is still good. We have so much to be grateful for. (Not the least of which is good friends who give us their cars to use.) I just made up my mind that we will get the perfect car for us, maybe not by tomorrow but soon!
Meanwhile, I’m just going to enjoy summer with its long days and an icy cold Corona!