I was catching up with a friend Saturday night and relating the sister drama that unfolded after my mother’s death. I told her that I wanted to go to Toronto in the spring or summer and try to reconnect with my eldest sister. She asked me why I would even bother considering what happened and related some of her family drama. Considering that my eldest sister and I have only been alone together (during a car ride about a decade ago), chances of us having a private conversation are slim to none. I am not so interested in changing her as much as I am about getting clear with her. I think I understand the source of her unhappiness but am not clear as to what role I personally play in it, if it all. When someone yells at you and hangs up on you, not once, but twice and then acts as if everything is just peachy, that’s just weird. She doesn’t want to be understood, she just wants to be obeyed.
Of course, I haven’t heard boo from her since the funeral. Typical. And I haven’t called her either, though I did get a Merry Christmas text from one of her daughters. I don’t get her and her family at all. I really hate it when people throw out religious vernacular when it suits them and then behave in a hypocritical manner. And getting a hold of her via telephone has always been difficult, even my younger sister just waits til she calls her.
It may not happen at all, who knows, but it’s been my experience that if I avoid dealing with things, things just keep repeating themselves.