Equanimity

Oh, so much is going on in the world and each Monday, I write a blog in my head and it never makes it to the page.  Sigh.  I had to take a few days off of Facebook.  I’m grateful I don’t get CNN so I can watch and re-watch people getting murdered in the name of law enforcement.  I’ll write more later.

Just an update.  I didn’t tell you, my dear URL friends that I had a bit of a scare with my breast health.  Found a HUGE lump in my right breast ON THE WEEKEND of course, went to a walk in clinic on Monday (cause I couldn’t get in to see my GP) to get a requisition for a breast ultrasound.  Of course, I started thinking about my dear friend who had passed away from breast cancer and all the other women that I know who had it and how could I have missed such a big lump before? (Maybe because I barely even consider my breasts AT ALL?) I was responsible for booking it only to find out I couldn’t get an ultrasound until August on the North Shore.  Seriously, folks?  So I started to call around in the city, (reached a private clinic that could do it the next day, but no my pitiful extended health does not cover it) so I called the BC agency that books mammograms (it’s literally like the Breast Centre) and I got an ultrasound the next day.  Whew!  Then I picked up my previous scans since I moved to the North Shore to bring with me.  I had to take Boo with me but he was great, he waited patiently until I was done.  Of course, I sneaked a peek at the image and then when I got home, I Googled it.  Of course I did.  When faced with an unexpected obstacle, I will seek to control, usually by googling and researching information.  By that point, I had already chanted and was pretty calm about it.  I was pretty darn sure it was a cyst.  And yes, to cut a long story short,  it was a cyst.  A big one, but a cyst that did not need further treatment.  Heavy sigh of relief.  Serious relief.  And perspective.

Now all of this was going on when I was dealing with the sister not signing the waiver and release thing.  Now the great thing about being a Buddhist is that instead of freaking out I can go chant with someone.  So I did.  So in the space of a few days I had gone to defcon 5 with anger and frustration, then rode a wave of chanting into all this crap will pass and I don’t need to kick anybody’s ass.

Today, the lawyer’s office told me she had signed the release.

 

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6 thoughts on “Equanimity

  1. What a relief about your breast lump! I can totally understand being freaked out about that.

    Glad to hear that your sister signed the release as well.

  2. Whew. Thank God. On both counts. My world is crazy right now. Your words gave me some calm by proxy tonight ( was shaking like a leaf a few minutes ago) xoxo

    P

  3. Thank goodness it was a cyst, but how scary! I’m sorry you had to go through so much just to get a timely ultrasound. Ridiculous. I don’t have cable, so I never saw any of those videos. I passed by them on facebook because I have no desire to see someone die. The news is just so sad and so angering lately. But, hooray for the lump being a cyst and hooray for your sister signing the release!

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