Some people have hot sex all night long. Not our place, no way. That’s not what we do for excitement around here. Instead Juno had a case of cold tail for which we gave her a vet approved pain medication. And then just for giggles, while she’s out relaxing in the backyard, she gets skunked. Literally. She got sprayed in the face by a skunk. Not sure how that happened while she was in the fenced backyard, but we’re guessing, a skunk was making its way along the fence line and she caught wind of it and got all curious and decided to poke her head out of one of the many loose boards in the sad excuse called the fence to check it out. The skunk taught her a lesson in minding her own business. Did I tell you it was 10pm?
When I heard her come in and start shaking her head, DH went downstairs to check her out. He thought she had got into something chemical. I thought it was a skunk. Upon moving closer to her, the smell was so noxious, I thought the same thing. I wiped her head down with a towel, there was some foam on the top of her head and she was foaming at the mouth a bit. I told DH to take her immediately to the ER vet while I ran around the backyard with a flashlight looking for a noxious substance. The only thing I found was a G.lade automatic spray device on the ledge in the basement. We are actually super cautious about poisonous substances because we’ve had dogs and now we have a kid, so anything remotely poisonous is on a high shelf. I pulled the device apart and called DH to let him know that I had found the culprit. Of course, my nasal passages were so overwhelmed with the noxious substance that I would have thought an apple pie was poisonous. Anyway, he calls me later to tell me that he and Juno had been shoeed out of the ER cause it’s skunk that’s the problem. That explains the foaming at the mouth cause you’d be foaming at the mouth too if you got a snout full of skunk spray. But she’s not dying, so we’re relieved. So he goes off to the store to get hydrogen peroxide and I’m in the shower trying to brush my teeth and wash the stank that envelopes me and is progressively getting worse in the house. I set out bowls of vinegar, scented candles, Miracle Spray and Febreeze the f*** out of the place. I also have an essential oil diffuser going off in the basement. In the end we decide on a mixture of vinegar, baking soda and dish detergent and he’s washing the dog at 11:30 at night. Juno of course is a more than a little unnerved so of course, she wants to sleep upstairs with us. Luckily, the kid is asleep and we don’t have to worry about him. The whole house stank all night long. Good times.
So who needs hot sex anyway?
PS. It still stinks, including the car.