Riding solo

Boo has been in bike camp all week – and yay, he has learned to ride a bike!  It’s a bit weird that he’s in such a program at all.  When I was growing up, your dad taught you to ride a bike on the weekend.  End of story, who is the hell would pay someone to teach your kid that?!  Also, I’m pretty sure I didn’t learn to ride a 2 wheeler until I was much older, like 8 or 9.  Yet, that’s what a lot of people do around here when their kid hits 3 or 4.  And hubby has been going on about it for a year or so and so finally with the purchase of a new bike this spring, that was the plan.  And then he asked me to video it.  Well, when I saw my baby take flight, “Push me, mama, just push me!”, I had to choke back the tears!  I just watched him, my heart bursting with pride.  I did not take a video.  I just wanted to watch him without a lens between him and I.  I tried to video him later, but apparently I did not hit the button until the end and so ended up with 8 minutes of footage of my back pocket and me cheering on the other kids. He cycled back to the car (with me running behind him) and told me that in his heart, he knew he could do it.   Later that day, we took Dad to the local school field and showed him in person.  (Even then we drove 2 blocks cause we live on a hill and there’s no way in hell we’re going to let him solo and then push him back up hill.  Boo still has to be on his tiptoes to hold his bike up.)  Hubby got a tear in his eye, too!  I wish we had just taken the time to teach him ourselves. 

I have noticed since becoming a parent that there is an insane pressure to just enroll them in courses to keep them busy. Maybe it’s because I came from a poor background, but I did diddley squat growing up.  I was not in Brownies or Girl Guides or gymnastics or dance.  I was lucky to get weekly piano lessons from an old (probable) pedophile in a community centre for 6 years off and on.   I went to music camp once for a week when I was 11.  I even remember my mum begging my dad for the money to go. That was it.  (It’s where I found out white people ate cold cereal for breakfast.) Those were the only extra-curricular activities they could afford.

Of course, we all want better for our kids so I’m right up there with credit card in hand, buying myself 2 hours of freedom at a time.  With an only child, it’s on me to keep in entertained and engaged.  And you know what?  I can’t always do it.  I get pushed to the brink sometimes when I can’t even take a shower or go to the bathroom without someone banging on the door or screaming for something.  There were days when getting dressed without someone giggling and trying to poke my vagina were few and far between.   Don’t get me wrong, I’m living for kindergarten where I will have what looks like an insane amount of time to myself to do whatever I need to without the whining.

I just think that when I saw him riding away from me, I got that sense of “they grow up so fast” thing I keep hearing about.  He didn’t need me right there by his side.  He was too far away for me to come to the rescue if he should fall.  Riding away from me and all I wanted to do was keep him close. 

What the hell is wrong with me?