I wrote a half a post about a week ago concerning a friend of mine who is going through a marital breakdown – I hit a wrong button and it all evaporated. I was so pissed off, I couldn’t retrieve it, but whatever. These people are so close to me and its one of those couples that I know many people held up as an example. I feel just so bad for them, there’s so much pain. It was causing me to reflect on my own marriage, and not in a good way, if you know what I mean. It makes me think what would I do? I’ve heard more than a few times from female friends, that the husband just upped and left after the kids grew up or they found someone else, a younger and prettier version. I remember wanting my parents marriage to be over when I was 11 years old because I just couldn’t take the violence, the disrespect, the humiliation anymore and yet ultimately my mother went back to my father because she just couldn’t make it on her own. Despite the fact that he tried to choke the life out of her in front of a crowd. For my dad’s part, it was his ego that was wounded, he never wanted her and the ensuing years was just a facade. It changed how I viewed myself, the opposite sex and my ability to deal with conflict. It made me question the whole point of marriage to begin with.
I have to talk to both people, but it’s just plain awkward. I am trying to be supportive and reassuring while remaining neutral but of course, I have my opinions. I have to be careful with what I say cause I don’t want to get into any trouble. I guess I can’t ask the husband for marriage advice anymore. Huh.
The weather here has been unseasonably cold; it has already snowed a few times and mild chaos ensued. I was brought up out East, so I don’t find it that bad, but Vancouver is ill prepared for snow, even when it’s forecasted. Sigh. We’ve been having a shortage of salt and a lot of neighbourhood side streets are like ice rinks. So the city decided to “help” and put free salt/sand at some fire stations. There was a mob scene at one of them. Over salt. Sigh. Someone even posted a bag of salt for $80 on Craig’s List. Both hubby and I took over shovelling snow for our elderly neighbours and I was rewarded with a beautiful “quillow” for Christmas (from the friendly one). I’d never heard of one, but it’s quilt that has a pouch you can put your feet into and you can fold it up into a pillow using the same pouch. It really came in handy cause I got the flu over Christmas. First hubby got it, but he recovered in 2 days and then I woke up with it Christmas morning. Yay, a gift I can’t return. So much for the serious drinking I had in mind. Oh yeah, and hubby took his brother to the emergency room 3 times due to gall bladder pain. It was a Christmas for the books. We came home early from our in-laws and I spent the next 4 days in bed. In isolation. Well, actually I dragged myself out of bed to do a roundtable taping with fellow African Canadian actors and then back to bed. I’m good now except for a residual phlegmy cough.
A Woman My Age 