Microblog Mondays – Beauty is $$$

Microblog_MondaysYours truly has been nominated for a Leo Award for Best Actress in a Web Series!  How exciting!  The  Leos are a BC industry event, it’s not televised, but it’s still a big deal.  It’s great to be acknowledged by one’s peers. At first, I was really pleased and I adored the congratulations. And now, I’m  a bit stressed out.

I recently had my hair done (in a weave), and unfortunately I’m not too happy about the result (in hopes of getting new headshots). And yes,  it’s my fault cause I told her I wanted my hair left out at the front but she left a LOT OUT and she insisted it would look good and I could wear my hair up, but my hair is quite thin and it’s not even close to the picture I showed her.   I returned to the hairdresser the day of the shoot to see if she could fix it but really, she’d have to redo the whole thing and frankly, I’m out of money. The hairdresser on set made me look really good, but I shouldn’t have to work that hard every time I leave the house.  And I don’t normally, but at an industry event, there will be bright, unforgiving spotlights and I will be surrounded by skinny bitches in stilettos!  Hubby wants me to get it redone, but I’m not very confident that the outcome would be better.  (She’s not my usual hairdresser, but my old one has been in and out of the hospital lately.)  So do I just let her style my hair with a ton of hairspray on the day and live with it until my regular hairdresser is feeling better or do I ahem, prod her into redoing it and risk another disappointment?  And now of course, I have to find a dress to wear to the ceremony. I am not skinny, people, so I can’t just wear anything and call it a day, but I also don’t want to look like the mother of the bride either, you know what I mean?  People, it takes a team to get me camera ready! And yes, nominees have to pay for their own ticket and I’d like my husband to come with me and that means a sitter and you see where I’m going with this?  This one night could cost me a bundle.  Here I come, clearance racks!

Microblog Mondays – MMmm day

Microblog_MondaysI made it through my first Mother’s Day without my mum just fine.  I missed her, of course, I remembered all the years we’d take her out for lunch and bring her flowers.  It’s just weird, so much of my life revolved around her.  When she first went into care, I’d see her every day, then 2-3 times a week, maybe twice a week after we adopted our son.  And it was only after our recent move to the North Shore, did I finally cut visits down to once week  – 10 days.  And occasionally I find myself driving past where she used to reside and the nearby Starbucks where we used to hang out.  She never really belonged here, but she belongs in my heart forever.  I have so many pictures and videos of her to look at but it’s still hard to listen to singing.  She seems so alive.  Anyway….I sent my younger sister a bouquet of roses.  I know she was thinking about her a lot, too.

I did send flowers to my mother in law and though they were a day late (ahem 1800 flowers, I won’t be using you anymore cause it’s apparently impossible to get customer service on the phone), she really liked them.  And since we were staying home as per my request, hubby interpreted that as me wanting a low key day.  Of course, I love being spoiled but I knew from the busy week that that wasn’t going to happen.  I did enjoy a glorious sleep in!  Ah!  Now that was a gift!   A homemade gift (candleholder) and card from my son made at school came next.  I actually got it on Friday but I asked Boo to present the card to me all over again . I just love to ooh and ahh over whatever I get from my son.   We went out for breakfast and I raised my mimosa glass to make a toast and hubby interrupts to let me know I can’t my a toast on my own Mother’s Day.  Grrr.  Why yes I can, I say (I don’t believe he was going to) and I toasted my mother and Boo’s birthmother.  Gratitude is never out of style.

Then we went to Canadian Tire.  Apparently, it’s a Canadian tradition judging by the large crowds there.  Boo was doing his best to behave, but hubby had to take his squirmy butt out to see his cousins later, so I just went shopping for hanging baskets and plants.  I have to admit, it was nice to just browse in peace and quiet on my own.   Hubby was in a bit of a mood, not sure why, but I wasn’t in the mood to engage.  I’m sure he was just tired and the strain of dealing with a can’t sit still 6 yr old was wearing thin. The downside to running your own business is that you  a never really have a day off and your phone is always dinging and your to do list is endless.

I also received an email from my son’s birthmother.  I sent her flowers, as I do ever year. Then I replied and sent her some pics.   I always feel a bit odd about our email communication.  It’s sometimes hard to interpret emotions despite emojis and exclamation marks.  I’ve written posts about it that just stayed in my draft folder.  Though, when we were reminiscing about Grandma, Boo wondered what the names of his other grandparents were, the ones from the “girl who gave birth to me”.  And I didn’t know.

Unfortunately, I heard my mother-in-laws other son hurt his back and couldn’t spend Mother’s Day with her so I think they are all coming here this coming weekend.  Hubby’s work schedule is once again very heavy so it would be easier if they came our way.  I will treat my lovely MIL to afternoon tea at a fancy hotel.  I know hubby will be exhausted but he always perks up for his family.

And now back to the to do list…..



Microblog Mondays – A Change

Microblog_MondaysFor someone who doesn’t have a paid f/t time job, I can keep awfully busy.  I spent Friday night, all day Saturday and Sunday participating in the Performer’s Mastery. (And exhausted I went to a Buddhist meeting.  I just needed that charge to finish off my journey.)  I did it 15 years ago and this past weekend, I did it again.   I’m really grateful I took the time to do this for myself.  It was just what I needed.  It’s kind of a hard thing to describe and it’s one of those if I told you, I’d have to kill you kind of experiences.  But I will tell you one thing.  It actually dawned on me that I’m a whole other person than when I participated the first time.  So being disappointed that I don’t look like my old headshots anymore is really ridiculous.  So I’m adding getting new photos to my to do list.  (Instead of talking about getting new photos all the time cause apparently I’ve been thinking I’m going to change back to the person I used to be. Hahahahah.)

Lots of things going on, but I’ll keep you posted.

Microblog Mondays – Congrats and Supplements

Well, will wonders never cease!  My friend called me to let me know that I have won Best Supporting Actress for our web series CODED  in Rome!  Not sure exactly what that means or even if I will actually receive an award (by the looks of all the winners that seems unlikely) but I’ll take the honours.  Thank you Rome Web Awards!

And on a health note, I saw my GP about my shoulder.  She told me to take extra strength advil twice a day.  Great.

I told you I saw my naturopath and she prescribed Pregnenolone, estriol cream (to replace the synthetic estrogen and to be applied to my nether regions) in addition to increasing my dosage of DHEA to 25mg. This is in  addition to the thyroid, iron, Vit. D and B I am already taking.   Since her initial recommendations helped me sleep, and lessened my anxiety attacks, I’m willing to give it a shot.   I’ll let you know if I become a nicer person with a libido again as a result.

As for the raw garlic and honey she suggested for my cold – well, I could only manage 2 teaspoonfuls before I gave up on that.  Gross!  Oh, and I’m also supposed to open up a  gymnema capsule and put some on my tongue to curb my sugar cravings.  Yup, it works.  Kills the taste of sugar.  So I eat the sugar before.  Hahaha.

Grief and gratitude

So exhausted from not sleeping properly due to my lovely hacking cough, I decide to do more than one thing in my day.   First, I drove to see the naturopath.  So I’m going down a street with construction going on, note the flagperson to my left and do not see the sideview mirror of a pickup in the parked to my right and – BOOM! – there goes my sideview mirror from my own pickup. It took me a few seconds to realize what had happened.  I look back in my rearview mirror and see that the sideview mirror of that truck is just fine and mine is barely hanging on.  No one is yelling at me so I keep on driving and of course, cause I’m driving a damn pickup I can’t find a parking space anywhere so I’m now late.

Anyways….. after filling in my naturopath on what’s going on with me, she recommends an increase in my DHEA, and a couple of other supplements and I really hope it helps.  I confess my addiction to sugar and she suggests putting the contents of a gymnema of my tongue to block the taste of sweetness.  I’ll take it tomorrow, right now I gotta finish up these Fritt candies.

Of course, I had to run to a nearby drugstore and buy duct tape to I can fix up my sideview mirror so I can get back on the damn highway.

I race home, manage to throw out some old dining chairs out of the shed into back of the pickup without getting too filthy.  I would have liked to put in some other junk but I’m out of time.  Off I go to finally deal my with mum’s storage unit.  I had called that well known junk removal company to come and give me a quote, but really no matter how much it was, I was going through with it anyway.  The driver was super nice and I explained to him that my mother had passed away and I was feeling a bit fragile.  He understood and was very compassionate and told me that if at any time I changed my mind, they would stop.  As soon as they started loading up stuff, I started to lose it.  I start going through the suitcases (once again) grabbing this and that.  I had to pull myself away and go sit in my truck.  It’s raining.  I call my sister and start bawling my eyes out, apologizing for wasting so much money in keeping the stuff for so many years and how I just couldn’t see all that stuff and her handwriting and all the jumbled mess and not feel paralyzed and now that it was all going, my heart was breaking all over again.  And then my nose started bleeding.  Gushing red blood and I grab a dog towel cause every time I try to look through my purse for kleenex, it gets worse.  I knew it was just stuff, just stuff and none of it was really her and my sister assured me that my mother’s love was still with me.  I knew that. I knew that.   But when I saw them putting her stuff in a junk truck like it was just NOTHING, I could barely breathe.  Now all that is left is the piano and some art.  I got it together, my nose stops bleeding finally, paid them and then…. hubby arrives. It’s just good to see him but I don’t have time to talk.   I’m calm.  We swap vehicles.  I’ve got 20 minutes to drive downtown.

And then I go to an audition.  Just a couple of lines for a new show on cable.  I consider it a victory I arrive on time  (and at all) and get a parking spot right out front.  I go in the bathroom, fix my hair, brush off my clothes and have a few minutes to gather my thoughts.  I go into the audition, drained, but I manage to crank out one of my winning smiles before I start the scene. I’m not giving a shit about much.  But I’m not coughing at least.  The director and the producers are there.  They tell me “You nailed it”.  I’m stunned.  I don’t even know what to say.  It’s not that I’ve never had a compliment before but really I don’t give it that much weight as that doesn’t mean I have the part.  I just wanted to go home.

I buy cough syrup with codeine at the pharmacy, and actually sleep that night.

Today, 2 days later, I book the gig.   I was just getting out the shower, and my phone rang and when I saw it was my agent, I just didn’t want to hear about another audition, cause I was just fine with all I have going on right now.  I just wanted to feel better and organize hubby’s 50th this Saturday and the in laws are coming, etc.  But good news is good news.  The drought is over.  It’s just one day, but it’s a very well paid one for a change and I’m grateful.

Thanks, mum.


Microblog Mondays – Stuff

I wish I had something more interesting to tell you, but alas, I do not.  I caught a bad cold last week and now I have that lovely persistent cough that robs me of sleep and sanity.   I’ve finally been appointed administrator of my mother’s estate and so I am now waiting for a package of paperwork to arrive.

In the meanwhile, I have to get the sorted out junk removed from said locker (which is costing over $300 a month) – and what the heck do I do with the piano that is there?  I really don’t have room for it in our home.  Well, not without any severe rearranging.  The only thing I could do is put it in the outside shed, but that would be horrible for a piano.  I’ve asked friends if they would like to keep it their home (for music lessons for their kids perhaps) but there have been no takers.  I do want to keep it as oppose to donate it, but don’t have plans for music lessons for either the kid or myself.  Any other suggestions?

Guess who rang my bell?

So a couple of Jehovah Witnesses rang my doorbell last night.  And I opened it.  Sigh.  I was making dinner, but was waiting for the water to boil and apparently I was desperate to talk to a grownup.  The one with the bible passages on her Ipad was the rookie apparently and the 2nd woman was the more practiced proselytizer.  Usually things come to a screeching halt when I tell them I’m a Buddhist and I don’t believe in god (though technically I’m agnostic) but seasoned pro managed to smile and nod and say something pertinent and they thanked me for being receptive to what they had to say.  In other words, I was polite.  Script reader kept telling me about Jehovah and bible passages so I thought if she wants me to take her magazine, then they’re going to take mine.  I retrieve a Buddhist magazine and an inspirational quote about being a light in the world and do an exchange.  So I expect they’ll be knocking on my door again real soon to continue the conversation.  Omigod, what have I done?  Shall I ask them to go for a dog walk?  Turn on a tape of chanting and then open the door?  Move?

Of course, later, I thought though  it was amusing for me to think I was going to “convert” them  out of sheer boredom, I’m certainly not sincere about that since 1) I didn’t go to their door uninvited  and 2) my beliefs and their beliefs are diametrically opposed and they’re ignoring that for some reason.  I’m aware that they’re trying to fill 144K spots before the end of the world, but I’m not so sure why anyone would be happy to hang out in heaven while the rest of humanity (and possibly their loved ones) would perish, but that’s just me.