Microblog Mondays – Reminder to self

Though one might point at the earth and miss it, though one might bind up the sky, though the tides might cease to ebb and flow and the sun rise in the west, it could never come about that the prayers of the practitioner of the Lotus Sutra would go unanswered.

(The Writings of Nichiren Daishonin Vol 1, p345)

I went to a Buddhist discussion meeting last night and one of our members offered this Gosho passage as one of their favourites.  I was moved to tears because I had chosen this passage when I told my experience of bringing my son home.  After 7 long years of trying to have a baby and waiting 2 years to adopt, I had had many doubts as to the strength of my faith, my marriage and my mental health.  I had spent everything I had to have a child, the down payment for a house was gone and then when we moved on to the adoption, even that journey was nothing I had ever imagined.  I had become a woman that I did not recognize anymore. Years before, a woman was doing a healing massage on me and told me that a child may come to me but not through me.  I was a ball of grief but those words never left me.

And then the night I held my son perhaps for the last time, I chanted for him and his mother to be happy and I knew that I could survive anything after having my heart just about ripped from my chest.  His happiness was all that mattered, not mine.

And then my prayers were answered.

Hang in there.