In acting class last week, we were doing an exercise with a short scene. I ended up in tears. I started out full of anger and annoyance and, of course, under all of that bluster was just tears. Interesting choice for the scene, I suppose. I’m not a big crier. I have an enormous capacity to put up with all sorts of things but I’m only human. I’d been feeling unsettled. I don’t sleep particularly well. I’m not going to the boxing gym because of my shoulder injury, getting it manipulated by both a chiropractor and acupressurist which leaves it feeling sore, not getting booked on any gigs and dealing with a paralegal who kept sending my sisters documents with typos and misspelled names which in turn causes a flood of texts and delays in getting said documents returned. So….delays….on hold….stuck. Fatigue, routine chores and general crankiness. I miss hitting something. Seriously.
I did have a interesting day doing a play reading on the weekend and I’m going to Seattle overnight with my friend to a digital short festival which is featuring a web short series I did last year. I’m also booking time with Buddhist friends to encourage and visit them as much as possible during the next few weeks. Yes, I’m making myself busier than before. But I’m determined to make a breakthrough somewhere, somehow. Or I’m going to break something. Either way, I’m determined.