In acting class last week, we were doing an exercise with a short scene. I ended up in tears. I started out full of anger and annoyance and, of course, under all of that bluster was just tears. Interesting choice for the scene, I suppose. I’m not a big crier. I have an enormous capacity to put up with all sorts of things but I’m only human. I’d been feeling unsettled. I don’t sleep particularly well. I’m not going to the boxing gym because of my shoulder injury, getting it manipulated by both a chiropractor and acupressurist which leaves it feeling sore, not getting booked on any gigs and dealing with a paralegal who kept sending my sisters documents with typos and misspelled names which in turn causes a flood of texts and delays in getting said documents returned. So….delays….on hold….stuck. Fatigue, routine chores and general crankiness. I miss hitting something. Seriously.
I did have a interesting day doing a play reading on the weekend and I’m going to Seattle overnight with my friend to a digital short festival which is featuring a web short series I did last year. I’m also booking time with Buddhist friends to encourage and visit them as much as possible during the next few weeks. Yes, I’m making myself busier than before. But I’m determined to make a breakthrough somewhere, somehow. Or I’m going to break something. Either way, I’m determined.
A Woman My Age 
Would this be a bad time to tell you (as an actor), “Break a leg!”? 😉
I do hope you catch a break soon. *hugs*
I get the need for release, and it sounds like maybe that scene and the boxing gym can help (once your shoulder feels better). Have fun at that festival! Very cool you’re in it.
I’m not much into hitting things, but I know that my mental state suffers cruelly when I can’t do my beloved yoga, so I totally feel your pain. I hope the shoulder gets better quickly. It sounds like you’re doing everything you can to make that happen.
There can be something therapeutic about a good cry, and that one must have been lurking under the surface for a while. You have so much frustration that you’re dealing with, it kind of makes me want to cry myself. Have a great time at the film festival — is it fun to see yourself up on screen, or weird? (Probably both.) This really spoke to me: “But I’m determined to make a breakthrough somewhere, somehow. Or I’m going to break something.” I feel like those are my choices, sometimes, too. I hope your shoulder gets better and you can get back into the things you did before that brought you peace and wellbeing.
One of my therapists recommended getting a kiddie bat & nerf ball & hitting it down in the basement, or out in the park. Or getting a set of cheap dishes & smashing them. (I’m not sure I could do that, though, even with cheap dishes. 😉 Too practical!) (((hugs))) Hope you are feeling better — physically, emotionally — very soon.